I'm really super good at fucking shit up. Just in case any of you are looking for shit to be fucked up.

You think you've seen crazy? Keep fucking ignoring me. I'll show you shades of crazy that even God hasn't seen before.

A lot of good, hard, messy, mind numbing fucking is what I'm pretty much begging for.

Thinking that a handful of muscle relaxers and a cock down my throat sounds like a good idea. I'm kidding, I don't need the muscle relaxers.

I fucking love the wind. It saves me the trouble of blowing up my own skirt.

Please, Dear God,
I'm done playing your genetic game. Make me stronger or give me a penis. These emotions are shit. I'm so over them. -
Me

Thinking that I'm done with thinking... Seriously, what a waste of fucking time.

I just want your fucking attention.

My mouth knows when to shut. But my thumbs are fucking unstoppable, sometimes.

Son flipped out when his wrestling coach called me by my nickname. Tried to calm him down by saying "its ok, we're just fucking" didn't work

Sometimes I wonder how much longer my life is going to sit around waiting for me to actually live it...

Fuckers. You know who you are.

Apparently sleeping all day has a down side. I woke up still fucking tired. Thank goodness its almost bed time.

Do you have any idea how many times a day people look at me funny? I mean shit, my tits aren't going to play with themselves.

Love it or change it. - Me, my motto.

But just so you know, my starring and retweeting your shit is completely your fault! You fucking funny fucks! I *heart* you!

Oh shit... responsibility keeps calling me. Thank God I can drown out their voices with wine and you...

Ever feel like stomping on your own fingers after reading what you typed and just sent out?
Yeah, that's where I'm at.

Now is as good a time as any to get back to where and who I need and was supposed to be.

Hey guys, is there really a man law that says if a woman lets you fuck her ass, she's no longer marriage material?