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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    Gift @imaliwaller Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 2,274
    • LIKES
    michelle4232BueffelXJasonBerlinJustine_AveryViddlestonRebeccaARinconThomasNarasoon2B_PROdiGee
    • 2,068
    • RETWEETS
    paystoknowpayzramero_djdownforhemmingsRebeccaARincon__gusgusMegliana_StarDuchessutopiaVanDeMorgenrood
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    Do the people in cars with blue headlights know that everybody hates them?

    • 989
    • LIKES
    Curly_gurl135JasonBerlinBrianInSoCal__vanschmoozindbozkristtyleighhonthelukeoutdev_elisabeth
    • 622
    • RETWEETS
    Curly_gurl135kristtyleighhtalibonacidjeennyygarciakeiko_paigeLaurenStrezzcornaxjimhnv
    Home_Halfway
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    "Hey, wanna fuck and eat with me for a few years?" "Sure." -Relationships

    • 912
    • LIKES
    joe_dirtyjadeosborne23stuvesLidaNasserijim_galtsara_enanSwearingJamesChelseyReist
    • 484
    • RETWEETS
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    ToxicButTastyThatJennGravesejcam3__
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    It's rude to ask single people if they're dating, couples if they're getting married & married people if they're having kids. Let's cool it.

    • 648
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    Architect_Profskinsweetie87LidaNasseriPantlessrockerMaMikeamoGelasticGoGoCurly_gurl135Jordardan
    • 402
    • RETWEETS
    skinsweetie87GelasticGoGoCurly_gurl135topslyiamjulietpapadivinemadnessSissaSaysmrianleslie
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    Somewhere, there's a woman watching the NRA press conference and going "Ugh, I can't believe I fucked that guy in college."

    • 464
    • LIKES
    JasonBerlinBrianInSoCal__timmartinwhyCurly_gurl135Home_HalfwaylawyerthoughtsPlaying_DadMike__Lee
    • 558
    • RETWEETS
    Curly_gurl135NealASpurlockdmThalinSonyaMew1Her__BUTATL321SonnySulouffadamegelman
    lafix
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    No better feeling than getting flaked on when you were wanting to flake.

    • 563
    • LIKES
    JasonBerlinNickadoodboztheGrundylergiantmechaTheraleighlamaalexnussbaumbarfbabe
    • 350
    • RETWEETS
    aliciabeanbagFrancisAGeraldkatfoodbreath380kmhjayackleyweismanjakeManyB4noneAfter__sassychildlady
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    If the family in Modern Family is so "modern," then why don't any of the women have jobs?

    • 297
    • LIKES
    BrianInSoCal__AngieMcAdam1__IwishuwouldntCurly_gurl135_troyjohnsondru0887burgerlandorgyMrJeremyHorn
    • 584
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    AngieMcAdam1__Curly_gurl135GaskinsBen__KoudouCambridge__Melissa_PrdMelanieMglr__Dman7HundleyJohnTheSecular
    m0hammedwarsame
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    The guy who killed Bin Laden will win at small talk for the rest of his life. "You're a realtor? Cool. I shot Bin Laden in the face."

    • 433
    • LIKES
    JasonBerlinBrianInSoCal__Alessandro_G93Home_HalfwaylawyerthoughtsPlaying_DadWAGz_WordzOneOver0__
    • 428
    • RETWEETS
    Alessandro_G93WAGz_WordzNoOneatAlOneOver0__Mike__Leesouthern_scruffchefahoy1234mevans0424
    SamGrittner
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    Just once I want someone to say "Making this movie was the worst experience of my life. Total nightmare. Can't even believe it's watchable."

    • 485
    • LIKES
    avinash9894LidaNasseriMaMikeamoLilTooFarCurly_gurl135JasonBerlinBrianInSoCal__Blurugu
    • 198
    • RETWEETS
    Curly_gurl135PacoLebelInglouriousBkofChristin_666Favstar250Omud_OneboJay1972Jaysamanthapeace
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    Men who wear jewelry: walk me through your thought process.

    • 471
    • LIKES
    erasmus_jeneJordardanJasonBerlinCharlesWiltgenReedisagirlshelldashSizeMcWaveyhalemcsharry
    • 170
    • RETWEETS
    JordardanCharlesWiltgenLaurenGouletSC_Cuban_BbridgetelysekpaigelazarSizeMcWaveyJamesMadigan
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    Appropriate tipping: for good service, tip 20%. For bad service, still tip 20% but be mad about it.

    • 429
    • LIKES
    JasonBerlinSteveDutzyPeanutgooseryanm74ReubenAdolfWudJewSaybrandonLEFTSIDEmichgonwild
    • 174
    • RETWEETS
    xxSerenityNowxxGossamer_SoundiSelleronnieeeeebfinancechargealnasgoFLAcarlosTheDoctor961
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    "Sure, I'll date a scrub. Why not?" -TLC, single, rapidly approaching 40, rethinking some stuff

    • 384
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    JasonBerlinFunnyBoneClubsBrianInSoCal__Iwishuwouldnt18sydneytrublue75Curly_gurl135therealCHASER
    • 183
    • RETWEETS
    Iwishuwouldnt18sydneyCurly_gurl135bridgetgllspTheRealSlimSeyidru0887belleNINJAsab_rodriguez16
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    Instead of "toner low," it might as well say, "you're never gonna use this printer again."

    • 415
    • LIKES
    claireconloncambron_richbailannlesleyarfinMr_BobbyJohnsonJust_A_Guy72__trashtasticaAckienotforyou
    • 146
    • RETWEETS
    Chase__BurnsEddieMcSugarnutLerkydru0887YoshuaDavisandreajo89ravenlunisAwkwardjokester
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    No reason to be "doing the Lord's work." Let the Lord do that. He's the Lord. He should be able to handle his own workload.

    • 387
    • LIKES
    JordardanJasonBerlinEves1MariaHeineggQuinnlovespoohjewspeerZanVetterApey
    • 101
    • RETWEETS
    JordardanGives_No_Fucksagentluthork_hanfeltmikemurphlasm_wardropbradendomierchetplease
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    At some point, every woman has bought a summer dress that makes her look like a waitress at a Mexican restaurant.

    • 335
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    JasonBerlinBrianInSoCal__Iwishuwouldntjodi_bowers__NeonSlurrCurly_gurl135fingerbangstheaubsreport
    • 96
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  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    I bet Steve Jobs would be proud that I checked my iPhone 3 times during his movie.

    • 322
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    • 83
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  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    SOME GUY ON FACEBOOK I DON'T EVEN KNOW JUST POSTED A PICTURE OF HIMSELF HOLDING HIS DEAD GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. ENOUGH. EVERYBODY. ENOUGH.

    • 335
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    JasonBerlingoodhairpersonltrup32kelzorrD_MONEYFLAVAmodo_lvkristinallbaniFrickinSunshine
    • 70
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    krugularlazykhanZiaZizzeNoraMaryyBenjiorbbucksmallsyqueenygirleeUn_kitSharma
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    Don't forget: all the unswerving optimists who write your self-help books are millionaires living in Hawaii with no real problems.

    • 253
    • LIKES
    JasonBerlinBrianInSoCal__abishekgcigarexec__o_althebarber4JayStephenspilotstigJohnTheSecular
    • 137
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    roryraaabeTheFunnyFelaabishekgcigarexec__TheJonHurdbenittto6JohnTheSecularFavstar250
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    Fun, flirty thing to whisper on a 1st date: "I wanna change the shit out of you."

    • 214
    • LIKES
    JordardanJasonBerlinFunnyBoneClubsBrianInSoCal__NeonSlurrCurly_gurl135dru0887TheJonHurd
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    NeonSlurrCurly_gurl135eziitismiglaa____doribeth29jojocomedyKellimaroneyLittle___Lambdfrbrian
  • imaliwaller
      ali waller @imaliwaller

    I'd like to host a TV show where I do a weekly round-up of people who are dead to me.

    • 235
    • LIKES
    JordardanJasonBerlinBrianInSoCal__dru0887Alessandro_G93lawyerthoughtsPlaying_DadMike__Lee
    • 132
    • RETWEETS
    BrianInSoCal__marcusdoesurmomMike__LeeToxicButTastyzami_singsonjessica_tullisSarcastic_messvannavic__
    rorynotroy
@imaliwaller

@imaliwaller

I have a glow-in-the-dark retainer

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