So a boxer, rapist, and a movie star walk into a bar...and everybody says what's up Mike tyson

My screw ups would be better if oompa loompas would make a song about them

It's gonna be a while before anybody names their child Precious

I bet when Asian women see another Asian woman in a car wreck; they feel like I do when black ppl are loud at the movie theatre

"You people, what do you mean you people!" -me practicing using the race card in the mirror every morning-

I won't be afraid of a hurricane until they give it a hood name like: Hurricane Tanisha or Hurricane Pookie

I really hope rich white ppl can finally catch a break in the world

Ladies, never trust a guy who get out of the shower and wraps the towel around his chest

I should have joined the X-men when I had the chance

Dear white people: exotic animals don't want to be domesticated, they want to eat you.

Dear white ppl: we'll let you say jesus was white if you let us say Pres Clinton is black

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will have you in the fetal position popping antidepressants

It would suck to have a zombie from Kenya after you

If I was a bird, I'd fly around and shit on things too

I can scratch something off my bucket list! I finally met a fat black woman who can't sing or cook...it's like finding a unicorn

For Halloween I'm going as Lebron in the 4th quarter and not showing up

In three years pres Obama went from looking like Will Smith to Morgan Freeman

There's no such thing as black or white music...except for bluegrass, that's some white ppl shit right there

People who lick their fingers before turning a page should be destroyed

This old redneck customer just asked if I wanted to go shooting w/ him and buddies. I've seen this movie b4, the black guy dies. No thanks