Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
A fun game for Mondays is to start drinking at lunchtime and see how many strangers you can find to talk to about your divorce.
If I checked into Twitter 1000 times a day, I guess I'd subtweet my own followers too.
If you're under the age of 25, you're not allowed to use the phrase "back in the day". You haven't even seen the light of day yet.
The fact they don't use capital letters for Graham Norton's name at the start of his show annoys me more than it should.
So fed up of you all reading too much into everything.
If they can grow a penis in a lab, how about growing David Cameron some balls for Britain's immigration policies. http://sciencealert.com.au/news/20140710-26292.html …
˙sɹǝʍolloɟ ǝıssnɐ ʎɯ oʇ ʇno ʇnoɥS
Let's see who the weirdos are starring every tweet...
I'm pretty sure Alexander Graham Bell never meant for me to save this much porn on my phone...
I'd probably be a lot less suspicious and cray cray if I didn't watch crap like UFO Hunters.
Just lost 2 followers, dad.
Fuck you so hard.
Dad: "Fuck! How much weight you lost?"
Me: "I've been ill, dad."
Dad: "With what? AIDS?"
How my dad opens the front door....apparently.
There is no point kidding myself even attempting Stoptober. There is more chance of Oscar Pistorius getting athletes foot.
I like to confuse my girlfriend. So I smiled at her this morning.
"It's half past the fuck outta my face."
I got shit to do.
According to social media, "Perogative" means "do what I want.
I hate it whent I feel I have to pick friends. Everyone is my friend. If you're not, you'd know about it by now.
I hatched from a Cadburys Creme Egg in the 1700s. Live in a travelling circus. My Native American name is He Who Runs With Scissors.