Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Considering most of you are over 30 and have those things called 'kids', I'm not expecting any of you to star that tweet.
Things money can't buy:
Two hookers who'll take it up the ass at the same time. Well, tonight.
I hate having to come up with menus for veggies & gluten-free weirdos. If you're allergic or fussy, stay at home. Nobody cares anyway.
Want to know what it's like owning dogs?
1. Take everything you own.
2. Drool on it.
3. Piss on it.
4. Chew it to pieces.
5. Repeat forever
"Alot" is not a word. You do not write alittle, amelon, adog, aburger or aretard.
Stop writing alot.
I'm that buzzed I just watched "Supernatural"...
[tweets about beer]
[tweets about cheeseburger]
[sees tweet about sex & love]
Gets drunk, fucks cheeseburger.
I'm at my most English when I say "Alas, poor Horlicks. I knew it well." zzzzzz...
I've learnt never to ask a woman if she's okay. They will always have something they want to moan about.
You know you're old when you realise you're never gonna be as cool, or live as long as Blade.
I don't get why big accounts feel the need to start Twitter again from the bottom. Nobody was listening the first time anyway ;-)
There's no 'we' in 'nobody cares'.
I'm so tired, I'll probably just lay here wide awake and question every decision I've ever made until 2hrs before I need to get up.
Parents claim their kids have so many allergies these days, in 20yrs you will be able to rob a bank with a bag of peanuts.
Taken 4: Granted.
For 90 mins, Liam Neeson argues with his woefully unappreciative (surviving) family over whose turn it is to do the dishes
Pornhub now has a gif generator? I guess we all should have seen that cumming.
I hatched from a Cadburys Creme Egg in the 1700s. Live in a travelling circus. My Native American name is He Who Runs With Scissors.