Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Tweet, or do not tweet. There is no manual retweet.
It's pretty cool how a virus kills off several thousand Africans, then a month later US pharmacists miraculously find a cure.
Not to brag but, if a bomb went off in this Tescos right now, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who would have dental records.
It's scary that most girls favorite movie is "The Notebook", and it condones going behind your fiancés' back to have sex with your ex.
I'd watch football if the players had as much to drink as the fans.
You know those accounts that have high follower counts, and low following counts? They just been here longer...
I'm not sure, but I think my neighbour has asked me to murder him using the ancient language of wind chimes...
"You ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?"
I always ask this of all my followers...
Jesus: "Take this bread, and eat it, for it is my body."
Me: "Too much Walking Dead?"
*Jesus looks away and whistles innocently*
Anything can be a boomerang if you throw it upwards.
A fun game for Mondays is to start drinking at lunchtime and see how many strangers you can find to talk to about your divorce.
If I checked into Twitter 1000 times a day, I guess I'd subtweet my own followers too.
If you're under the age of 25, you're not allowed to use the phrase "back in the day". You haven't even seen the light of day yet.
The fact they don't use capital letters for Graham Norton's name at the start of his show annoys me more than it should.
So fed up of you all reading too much into everything.
If they can grow a penis in a lab, how about growing David Cameron some balls for Britain's immigration policies. http://sciencealert.com.au/news/20140710-26292.html …
I hatched from a Cadburys Creme Egg in the 1700s. Live in a travelling circus. My Native American name is He Who Runs With Scissors.