Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
LOL at people who tweet everyday. Your RL friends must really appreciate the time the time you spend with them.
Just starred my own tweet...because I'm worth it.
There will always be some noob who will steal your tweet. Get over it.
Is this the bit where everyone slags off the people they chose to follow, or have all the cunts in the world synchronised their periods?
I hate being polite. It's like driving a Ferrari, but not being allowed to put your foot down.
Every time I give a fuck, it backfires on me.
There seems to be more Jews than Native Americans. I guess genocide is something Americans are better at than Germans...
My favourite mythical creatures are the women in tampon adverts.
I treat everybody equally, regardless of religion. After all, we're all born atheists. Until someone starts lying to us...
Ever wished you could "unmeet" someone?
Just because you don't understand somebody, doesn't mean they are an idiot.
The laws of nature state: you're not allowed on holiday excursions without being accompanied by "that guy" who make Health & Safety jokes.
Started watching Cosmos: A Space Time Odyssey...gotta say...he was funnier in The Cleveland Show..
I took a Lidl's "bag for life" when I went shopping in Tescos today. Fuck the establishment.
Get a job. Go to work. Find a partner. Get married. Walk on the sidewalk. Obey the law. Save for old age.
Now repeat after me: "I AM FREE!"
I always succumb to beer pressure.
The person who says it can't be done is usually the person on minimum wage...and always will be.
I hatched from a Cadburys Creme Egg in the 1700s. Live in a travelling circus. My Native American name is He Who Runs With Scissors.