Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I see nothing wrong in burning a bridge and swimming if the bridge was fucked up to begin with.
Just added your account to my list of "50 shades of gay". Keep subtweeting...
Getting RT'd by an account that doesn't follow you is like saying, "I agree with what you said, but I think you're a dick."
So many Twitter updates, so few notifications...
Legend in your own mind.
I've been putting some thought into it, I don't want to be an adult.
*goes on diet*
*cuts out carbs*
*cuts out sugar*
*loses will to live*
Relationship advice: if your girlfriend asks your opinion on her underwear, giving her a wedgie is not a suitable response.
What if someone is not afraid of the worst you could do to them and actually welcomes it?
American English to English translator:
Fries - Chips
Pants - Trousers
Meds - Beer and Weed
You = dick.
"He said 'retard! Now I'm gonna have to unfollow him."
What if I said spastic?
Been playing with the dogs in the garden and pulled a groin muscle. I never should have lifted my leg that high to wee on that bush.
Moths fly towards lights because they think it's the moon, but why do do they want to fly to the moon anyway? Idiots.
Anyone who says "Love is more important than money" has clearly never tried paying their mortgage with a hug.
It's pretty amazing how women with natural fat tits never mention their "natural fat ass"...
I'll never understand why women play "hard to get", when they're already "hard to want,"
I hatched from a Cadburys Creme Egg in the 1700s. Live in a travelling circus. My Native American name is He Who Runs With Scissors.