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I click in and I click out.
I don't clique.
Congratulating someone on becoming a dad is pretty much the same as saying "Well done for cumming inside a woman."
White people are now the minority.
Just retweeted a big account and then realised what i did and unretweeted it.
I'm so sorry...
Can't wait to not look directly at the clouds & pollution when I block out the solar eclipse tomorrow.
Just kidding. I'll still be in bed.
My Guardian Angel just fisted your Guardian Angel..
You can afford to spend money on tattoos, but not bathe and have a shower? Yeah, you're really showing society.
How fucking dirty you are.
Finding a fit bird at the pub is like playing mini golf. You hope to get a hole in one but your balls end up bouncing off some hippo's teeth
I'm going to the gym later, I may go in the steam room as well. Because nothing is more relaxing than sitting in other people's sweat.
If I show you something on my phone dont fucking touch my phone.
You follow 6 million trillion others? Of course I'll retweet you in the hope you recognize my teeny tiny account.
Anyone else think that nobody says "YOLO" anymore because all the people that used to say it are now dead?
Today is International Women's Day. It was actually supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready.
I hatched from a Cadburys Creme Egg in the 1700s. Live in a travelling circus. My Native American name is He Who Runs With Scissors.
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