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I'm Jay Gatsby, yes I'm the great Gatsby
All you other Jay Gatsbys are just imitatin'
I can't think of a more honest band name than Plain White T's
"This coffee stuff tastes bitter and it gave my crew the runs. We'll take it!"
-Spaniards, I guess
Real talk where the fuck did the name "Foghorn Leghorn" come from
Tell me a vegan joke I haven't herbivore.
ONE DIRECTION can be rearranged to spell DINO ERECTION explain that athetits
Gynosaur hash tag good riot grrrrrrrrrl band name
The lesson of Red Ribbon Week is that nobody knows what a pot leaf looks like.
One man's extra hour of sleep is another man's extra hour of dicking around on the internet.
"Wait, what did you just say?"
"(last thing the person said)"
"No, before that!"
Knowing that "Adele" is pronounced "uh-DELL" and not "A-duh-lay" will greatly reduce the chances of you getting punched in the face. By me.
i needed wd-40 and a hair dryer to thaw the lock on my car this morning but yeah i'm totally weird for preferring warm weather
if i had sex with any of my friends it would probably be like anything else we do
"what do you wanna do"
"i dunno what about you"
“I feel like a giant robot trapped in a vehicle’s body.”
Basically a piñata full of blood and meat so not a very good piñata