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@Ish's most faved Tweets...
Ish
Steve Jobs' transplant was a success, except that if he'd waited a month, he could have gotten a smaller and better liver for $100 less.
@Ish
Ish
I am religious about the gym. I don't really believe in it, but I go twice a year anyway.
@Ish
Ish
If you'd read my memo, you would *know* the first rule of Passive Aggressive Memo Club.
@Ish
Ish
Every few months I come up with a really awesome tweet.

It's not this one - I'm just letting you know. I do.
@Ish
Ish
Because I'm an optimist, I think you're half full of shit.
@Ish
Ish
Found a good substitute for Twitter last week - a curious 4 y.o. who follows you around and says "what are you doing?" every six minutes.
@Ish
Ish
I hope the airline lets us carry the baby on, even though I'm not sure she'll fit under the seat.
@Ish
Ish
If tweets had a circle you could click meaning "I see what you did there - good for you"? I could be the @sween of that. On Sortalikd.
@Ish
Ish
Dear Dr. Schrödinger: This is just a reminder that it's time for Mr. Whiskers' annual checkup! Unless he's dead. In which case, nevermind.
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Ish
Being the best ventriloquist is like being the best...at some horribly unfunny thing.
@Ish
Ish
BTW, baby was great on the plane! She even sighed passive-aggressively when the guy in front of us reclined his seat.
@Ish
Ish
No no! The stifled yawns are my way of saying, "please continue with your story."
@Ish
Ish
I put the douche in fiduciary.
@Ish
Ish
I second-guess myself too much. OR DO I??
@Ish
Ish
Suggestion for new California state motto: "Don't worry, the mudslides will put out the fires."
@Ish
Ish
Whole Foods: perfect when we're in a hurry for dinner, and don't want to waste time waiting for change back from a fifty.
@Ish
Ish
Dear Twitter Lists: Thanks for giving me yet another way to quantify my own feelings of inadequacy.
@Ish
Ish
Breakfast wine. Why on earth is *that* not a thing yet?
@Ish
Ish
'Skip this ad' - does anyone not click that? "An ad, you say? Well, isn't *this* a delightful little detour!"
@Ish
Ish
We get the Sunday Times delivered so the neighbors think we're smart. Doesn't work as well when it's still in the driveway on Wednesday.
@Ish
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