Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I'll wear black till they find a darker colour.
Thanks Twitter, for making me miss so many birthdays on FB.
Why Life, why? Why can't you give some muffins or cupcakes once in a while? Why does it always have to be lemons?
No, not flirting. Just being polite. There is a difference.
Tomorrow? A magical unknown land where 99% of all human productivity and achievement live.
Whoever wants to go on #miaonwheels and missed the ride, just tweet about why you want to be pampered and you might get lucky!
Always maintain a healthy level of insanity.
No, you don't have ADD, you're just a jerk using ADD as an excuse.
I cannot brain today. I has a dumb.
A hair raising tale - starring a really bad perm, along with the best afro money can buy.
Mayans have been proved right. If not earth, humanity has definitely died this year.
Political elections should just be wrestling matches to the death. That way we eliminate some dirt, while an idiot gets elected anyway.
I don't like it when people say 'everything's cool'. Everything is NOT cool. Only Dragons are.
"Be Yourself" is about the worst advice you can give to some people.
If my job was testing mattresses for comfort, I'd be employee of the month all the time.
*Witty oxymorons, 2 word descriptors and other rhyming terms*