Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I'll wear black till they find a darker colour.
Thanks Twitter, for making me miss so many birthdays on FB.
Why Life, why? Why can't you give some muffins or cupcakes once in a while? Why does it always have to be lemons?
No, not flirting. Just being polite. There is a difference.
Tomorrow? A magical unknown land where 99% of all human productivity and achievement live.
One minute he's an idiot and the next he's a bigger idiot. He makes this back and forth swinging look easy!
A hair raising tale - starring a really bad perm, along with the best afro money can buy.
Whoever wants to go on #miaonwheels and missed the ride, just tweet about why you want to be pampered and you might get lucky!
Always maintain a healthy level of insanity.
No, you don't have ADD, you're just a jerk using ADD as an excuse.
I cannot brain today. I has a dumb.
Mayans have been proved right. If not earth, humanity has definitely died this year.
If "A Fool And His Money are Easily Parted", then why don't I have my boss's bank account details by now?
Political elections should just be wrestling matches to the death. That way we eliminate some dirt, while an idiot gets elected anyway.
I don't like it when people say 'everything's cool'. Everything is NOT cool. Only Dragons are.
*Witty oxymorons, 2 word descriptors and other rhyming terms*