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"If you build it, they will cum." - God explaining the significance of whore houses.
Being a hoodrat is like being a regular rat, except the cheese comes from the government.
If you look up shit in the dictionary, you'll find something I don't give.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If I was a black guy,
I'd probably rape you.
#rejectedcandyhearts
Dance like nobodys watching, but masturbate like you're in a room full of nuns. So violently.
Tyler Perry needs to stop making shows about the everyday lives of black families.
The best part about being in Nickelback is that you can still look down on Creed.
In the game of life there are winners and then there's people who wear Ed Hardy.
You ever wake up, get out of bed and think, "I need to stop passing out at matress stores."
Bowling For Soup... and crackers... and a salad... and steak... and-
#fatbands
Ladies: relationships aren't just about sex, you have to make me sandwiches too.
I'll never be pussy whipped, because I'll never date a girl with a labia long enough to do that.
Logging onto myspace is like riding a bike, you only do it if you're really fucking poor.
Hey rednecks, did you ever think that maybe the rest of us would like to fuck your sister?
Seal looks like a dying Ethiopian. So really, he looks like all of them.
The official Mel Gibson parody account. Whats it to ya sugar tits?
