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I have an uncanny ability for eyeballing things; flour, sugar, butter, penises.
I just used margarine in a recipe instead of butter. Martha Stewart is not the boss of me.
I'm more over LeBron James, than the guy with the thumb-sized dick I had a one night stand with while on 'shrooms my junior year in college.
Vote YES on Amendment 4. The banning of tweeting by people who don't know the difference between there, their or they're.
Our choices are Jenny McCarthy or Carson Daly? Fuck.
When I see a Michael Phelps #Subway commercial, I think of only one thing: MUNCHIES.
Kim Kardashian is married to one man and pregnant by another; how very white trash of her.
Mother of two girls who thankfully turned out to be decent human beings, Darryl is still a work in progress. Lover of words, especially those of Joan Didion.