Skip Bayless hasn't tweeted all game, presumably to save his jaw for the week long blow job he'll be giving Tebow.

"I've got an idea: I'll cockblock myself during the best years of my life with an imaginary girlfriend" -no straight guy I've ever met.

Romney wants to cut PBS funding because Oscar the Grouch encourages children to be gross hobos.

Looks like ESPN and NBC are both airing "The Biggest Loser" right now. #BCS

EVERYONE SHUT UP, KATY PERRY'S TITS HAVE TAKEN THE STAGE.

Wichita State's male cheerleaders throwing the shocker, just loving the shit out of their name. via @collegespun pic.twitter.com/1K6Ui8Byxn

"It isn't sex addiction if you're single — it's just gettin' pussy." - Tiger Woods 2012

Torturing my liver tonight. Because fuck terrorists

Romney's American Flag pin is larger than Obamas. Easily twice its size. Barry O has flag envy plastered all over his face. #Denverdebate

Cundiff looked pretty calm after that choke job. In fact, he might have a career in deep throat porn after the Ravens cut him tomorrow.

When Shannon Sharp speaks, I envy the deaf.

Had my money on Sara Jessica Parker. So disappointed. #Preakness

One fucking nipple slip is to blame for this garbage dump of a halftime show. #superbowl

The Madden curse just got replaced with the State Farm curse. #Packers

OSU is getting two in the pink and one in the stink right now. #MarchMadness

Beyonce's outfit is PRIME for a wardrobe malfunction. You could yank a titty out of that no problem. Maybe even get the vag involved.

Hurricane Sandy is a lot like my sex life: it's wet, violent, and many lives will be ruined because of it. #sandy

If I was worth $250 million I wouldn't want to be president. I'd be far too busy having sex with my binders full of women. #debate

"Please tell Oprah that your cancer was a hoax" -Manti Te'o watching Lance Armstrong interview. #owntv

"The commitments I've made, I've kept. And those I haven't been able to keep, then whoops, my bad." -Barack Obama basically just said that