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I was going to live tweet the Victoria Secret fashion show but, ya know, typing with only one free hand is pretty hard.
Skip Bayless hasn't tweeted all game, presumably to save his jaw for the week long blow job he'll be giving Tebow.
"I've got an idea: I'll cockblock myself during the best years of my life with an imaginary girlfriend" -no straight guy I've ever met.
Romney wants to cut PBS funding because Oscar the Grouch encourages children to be gross hobos.
If you're a man and you're watching the AMAs over this football game, you should look into your pants to check if your genitalia vanished.
EVERYONE SHUT UP, KATY PERRY'S TITS HAVE TAKEN THE STAGE.
3 Worst Things About No Shave November:
Peoples' willingness to say how much better they like you without a beard
"It isn't sex addiction if you're single — it's just gettin' pussy." - Tiger Woods 2012
Torturing my liver tonight. Because fuck terrorists
Romney's American Flag pin is larger than Obamas. Easily twice its size. Barry O has flag envy plastered all over his face. #Denverdebate
Cundiff looked pretty calm after that choke job. In fact, he might have a career in deep throat porn after the Ravens cut him tomorrow.
When Shannon Sharp speaks, I envy the deaf.
Managing Editor for @BroBible and therefore also the son of remarkably unproud parents.