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Mom: "You're beautiful." Internet people: "You're so pretty, why are you single?" Crush: "Get out of my way you demented potato!"
"Is it because I'm black?" "Dude, you're white." "Oh, so now it's because I'm white!'
That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end they way you think it elephant.
Seeing all these pretty people on twitter and tumblr and feeling like a potato. /:
When I have a daughter, I'm going to name her Stacy. Then I will be Stacy's mom and I will have it goin' on.