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Kanye West says he wishes he was Kim Kardashian, because she's so lucky she's dating Kanye West.
Anyone notice when people say something is overrated they usually aren't getting any of it!? Anyway sex is totally overrated!
If you're wondering what the cheat code for life is, it's having a vagina. I googled.
Say more to drugs.
Sadly, cameras don't care about your inner beauty :(
Which one is Khloe and which one is Lamar?
If you're in a relationship the least you can do is let me know so I can stop wasting my lols and smileys on you every time I tweet you.
you know it's Monday when even beggers on the street aren't in the mood, they're just bumming!
I texted her three hours ago and she hasn't texted back yet. She must be writing a very very long reply. Can't wait to read it!
So crying and begging for sex isn't what sex appeal is!? So confused right now.
If your girlfriend shaves her eyebrows and draws them back on, you settled for less.
Hey dude posting Adele lyrics, did your boyfriend hurt you too?
Get rich or die crying.
What do you call the boring guy at a party? Designated driver
Are chicks who shave their eyebrows and draw them back on also made in His image?
UoN is just special; students, workers and lecturers all on strike. Dear parents and alumni, it's your turn.
There are more Nigerian movies than there are Nigerians.
I hate to brag, but money and charisma aren't the only things I lack.
Don't judge me, if B.O.B is allowed to pretend airplanes are like shooting stars, I think I'm allowed to pretend this pillow is a real girl.
Stevie Wonder does all of Nicki Minaj's makeup.
I work out. Want to be like chicken, we all love chicken. Underwear model trapped in tiny man's body. A man like me isn't hard to find. Alleged father of many.