If you only knew how hard I stare at your...tweets

I'm only 460 followers away from 500. Come on people, help me out......ohh, make that 461....462...463.

You can almost bet that some shits about to go down every time you hear a toilet flush

Ever stop to think that Tweetle Dee & Tweetle Dumb were the original tweeters?

@zooeyzoe http://t.co/gfR4LVOJ

Im tired of being boring and not clever. Tomorrow I think I'm gonna try something new. I'm gonna put my pants on boths legs at one time!

I am now watching the 10th episode of #SpongeBob this evening. Id say b/c of the 5y/o but id might be lying. He's only watched 9 of them

Its impossible to be angry and eat an ice cream cone

"@bensonnh: If you could only see yourself through my eyes, then you would know how beautiful your soul truly is..." @zooeyzoe

pic.twitter.com/bh6hHDro

Always remember to Tweet others as you would like to be Tweeted

Last night, we had brought our lil angel home from the hospital. He weighs a whopping 9 lbs 13 oz!

@zooeyzoe Sound check complete....

"We should do it just to say we did it!"

@zooeyzoe I also heard that Martha Washington would have a fat bowl waiting for George when he got home everyday. #OneHipHipHipLady,Man

@zooeyzoe @wanderlustmatt @blueoctober http://t.co/H6TK7Oth

@zooeyzoe @tufstrings @blueoctober http://t.co/fKnWCKk4

I know that God exists, I held her ( @zooeyzoe ) in my arms.

My inbox: I can eat myself skinny, earn thousands doin nothin, get a degree, buy cheap ink, n hav smooth skin. And thats all in just 1 week!

@zooeyzoe @lunaticlost giving us a lil entertainment on this loooong road trip ;) http://t.co/vqLkXl1o