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CVS pharmacist: Why are you needing plan B
Me: Because there is an egg hunt going on where it shouldn't be
Idk why I ever decided Great Clips was a good idea. They just gave me the "you're never getting laid" cut and I look like my 04' yearbook
There is never a moment Scott isn't trying to seduce a girl
A real slow day in the 317
We were suppose to leave a message for the bride and grooms time capsule to look back on, my dad left "when things get rough have more sex"
Own goals are so Intermural D team
Having to choose between seeing Arctic Monkeys/Eminem, Outkast/Calvin Harris, Skrillex/Chance The Rapper is bulllshiiiit
Somebody send for the ambulance. The quesarita is fire flames
Chance canceled his iu welcome week date and all others to perform at lolla. Makes standing in mud and hearing R.kelly so worth it
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