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CVS pharmacist: Why are you needing plan B
Me: Because there is an egg hunt going on where it shouldn't be
Idk why I ever decided Great Clips was a good idea. They just gave me the "you're never getting laid" cut and I look like my 04' yearbook
Took a quiz where I had zero idea what was happening so I put my glasses on to take it and got one right. Old hockey trick
There is never a moment Scott isn't trying to seduce a girl
A real slow day in the 317
We were suppose to leave a message for the bride and grooms time capsule to look back on, my dad left "when things get rough have more sex"
Own goals are so Intermural D team
Having to choose between seeing Arctic Monkeys/Eminem, Outkast/Calvin Harris, Skrillex/Chance The Rapper is bulllshiiiit
Somebody send for the ambulance. The quesarita is fire flames
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