torrenting weed.exe because of peer-to-peer pressure

if ur outside u r being exposed to all kinds of weird plant sex. plant sex is happening right the fuck now. in the air. all the air.

Obama, devourer of the sun http://t.co/c9k9sNK1

the sea is a harsh mistress [the sea puts on bondage gear and stomps on my balls]

Sexy singles in your length. Sexy singles in your area. Sexy singles in your volume. Sexy singles in your higher-dimensional area analogue.

To the left, to the left, Kennedy's head snapped back and to the left

"Hey you smoking Mother Nature! This is a bust!" I shout, as I press an armless statue into the hands of a horribly confused stoner.

george w bush searching "did i do 911" on ask jeeves

Archie is forced to choose between Veornica, the rich yet shallow girl and GOMARGAGGAGON, the brutal reptile goddess next door

Glitches ain't shit but holes in the Matrix

I WILL DO SPELLS TO YOU. BECOME SLOTH $20. SLOTH SMELL HEX $10. ACCELERATE MOSS GROWTH $5.

godspeed you black president

The duck police they try to land on my head / The duck police they want to eat all my bread

the curse of the haunted ghost

THIS IS NOT @ DRIL. REPEAT, THIS IS NOT @ DRIL.

twitter is a magical thing where you can invite internet weirdos into your home and have them explain how your shower works to you

Twitter's like throwing all your thoughts into a bottomless pit and maybe the light catches one just the right way to be pretty as it falls.

TexMexistential crisis

#NewSuperstitions If you press Down+A+B hard enough, it increases the effectiveness of your pokeballs.

my porn star name is rural route 5 hitler