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"Ma'am, which way is left?" - grown ass woman legitimately confused.
"People always say how you should be yourself. Like yourself is this definite thing, like a toaster or something."
....Xanax and coffee.
Xanax and coffee.
"Who gave grandma the iPad?"
- brilliant haiku
"If I can't scuba, then what's this all been about? What am I working toward?"
Good witch from the north. Designer at BuzzFeed and professional paper cutter. We're all just trying to do the best we know how, you know?