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Gonna start feeding my dog condoms, so when she poops they're already in tiny little bags!
My sex drive drove off
If someone isn't making you laugh or smile when you log onto twitter, you're following the wrong people! Work on that!
Remember its not the quantity of followers you have but the QUALITY! As long as you've got good peeps doesnt matter if its 20 or 200!!!
Trust me if I gave a shit you would be the 1st person I'd give it to ;)
No matter what you tweet, whether funny or serious, theres always gonna be someone hating on it! Tweet what you want & fuck how they feel ;)
Remember back in the day when your seatbelt was your dad's arm swinging over ya to keep ya from going through the windshield? Good times
Some of you don't just have issues, you've got the whole subscrption!
If you're not making someone laugh, pissing people off or getting blocked by small minded people, you're not doing twitter right!
Stupidity knows no race, gender, or sexual preference. It doesn't discriminate
Between the masturbating, eating bacon & getting high, when do you guys find the time or the hand to tweet with?
Oh Great now the fucking GRAMMAR POLICE are on patrol..It's a TWEET not a resume calm your fatass down
If you're late for Special Ed class is it okay for the teacher to call you tardy?
If you're going to DM me a dick pic give me a warning I almost pissed myself from laughing at your little bushy tic tac with the sideburns
I think if I was a Smurf I would be Stabby Smurf :) Yeah that suits me just fineeeeeee
If your partner doesnt have anything nice to say to you, put the ballgag back in their mouth & shut the closet door back.
Have we gotten so damn lazy we are now leaving the z out of crazy?
Honey your stupid is showing you might want to shut the hell up..thanks
i cant handle the constant political bashing clogging up my tl. I have opinions also I just choose not 2 bore everyone on twiiter wit em ;)
Dude next door lowers blades on his mower into ground to make sure we know where property line is..my dog walks across line poops I win :)
Here for the laughs. This shit will offend you! I retweet like it's my job! You've been warned! Racists/dumbasses keep it moving...#BBN #MilitaryMom