@JacksCaps' (KT) most faved Tweets...
Stomach, I cannot help you if you don't tell me what's wrong. Use your words.
Finally getting caught up on my dvr'd shows. Tonight, the Presidential election. Do NOT tell me who wins!
I'm sorry. I don't speak chit-chat.
Nothing like a refreshing morning jog to start the day. Ha ha. I'm just kidding. I don't even know how to jog.
Today my coffee is free. I had to purchase five other coffees to reach this momentous occasion. Dream big, kids. Anything is possible.
Everything in moderation. However, there are a few minor exceptions: alcohol, food, and sexy times.
Had to endure a passionate discussion about Farmville today at work. I am now a cutter.
I woke up giddy at 5A this morning.

Wait...please don't unfollow me. I was kidding! Totally kidding!

5AM - EFF THE WORLD!
Just reported a bunch of my spammers. I hope there is a Twittness Protection Program.
For Halloween, I'm going to be a hot mess. Oh, costume-wise? Probably an angel.
Leftovers don't have calories. I read that somewhere on the internets. You are welcome.
This costume is called Target Leftovers.
Me: "You're getting a new granddaughter!"

Mom: "............."

Apparently, this is not the best way to tell parentals about your new dog.
I biked. I fell.

Why can't these stories ever have a different ending?
Hey guys! Beer goggles work on yourself! The more I drink, the hotter I look in these sweatpants and my dad's reunion t-shirt. Awesome.
Last night, I received a gift wrapped lovingly with ulterior motive.
I am babysitting tonight. Also there is a hockey game. Kids can watch themselves, yes?
I blinked on Friday, and the weekend was over. I blinked this morning, and work is still happening. Explain.
I like adding my own creative genius to recipes. For example, instead of 'toasting' the pine nuts, I 'burnt' the pine nuts. I know, right?
I keep watching the commercials during my recorded programs. I don't deserve technology. Goodbye Walkman.
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