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Once you've seen Ewoks strip a Stormtrooper to the bone in 3.4 seconds, you quit worrying about face-eating zombies. #Ewokalypse
Not afraid of SOPA? I can fix that in 2 sentences: The average age in Congress is ~60. Your parents are in charge of regulating the 'Net.
Everyone calm down about new FB interface. When we added core stabilizers to warp engines it went just fine.
Starcraft: teaching American children to fear South Koreans since 1998.
I'm a big fan of 50 Cent, or as he's known in Rwanda, Four Hundred Million Dollars.
Cunnilingus tip: Don't spell the alphabet. Do the konami code.
❒Single ❒Taken ✔Going to kill the next person who tweets this nonsense.
I don't need a man to change a light bulb for me. I'm a chick, I have to have 5 million scented fucking candles somewhere in here.
We can tweet if we want to
We can leave Facebook behind
'Cause your friends all suck
Refuse to say 'fuck'
& they're not in my timeline
There is nothing quite as satisfying as telling your kids they came out of your vagina.
I totally missed the World Series! Did America win again?
If you mix NyQuil and Jägermeister, it tastes a lot like goodnight.
I don't think PMS actually exists. I think women are just secretly angry that men can pee standing up.