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  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    People who need the volume on an even number are crazy…it can also be on a multiple of five.

    • 361
    • FAVS
    alliefreeits_saulgoodevofckRcraioveaniamsunshine78SternoShotsJaySaysStuffBulldozerBoser
    • 156
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughndnmac27aaronmg412its_saulgoodevofckJaySaysStuffNes_Bitt_MEjzacharia_
    Coy0teUgly________
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    Tip: When the cop asks you "Do you know how fast you were going?" do NOT respond with "I know, right?!"

    • 243
    • FAVS
    davetureqCheeseboy22_Ms_Moneypenny_MikeLalliHeartblakekid15dillon_is_rowdyphotowenchTheWeedFather
    • 103
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughndavetureqwarhorse76BwanaChrisThing_FinderRestenfieldmesajom__AGreaterMonster
    HeyZeus666JadeR61799
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    I wonder how many hipsters realize they're simply dressed as characters from Mister Rogers' Neighborhood.

    • 220
    • FAVS
    MelissaJoy33Cheeseboy22_Ms_Moneypenny_MikeLallitiReynardprettygoodyearellenteeTheTinyViking
    • 94
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnprettygoodyearCharlotteTvrdyjustinrigdontaylorcannon1moose_chocolateRaccoonWhiskeybombsydoll
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    It's kinda funny how I open a pint of ice cream and don't immediately throw away the lid.

    • 197
    • FAVS
    uncybillized_Ms_Moneypenny_MikeLalliHeartblakekid15kratosfrostbitephotowenchBGEMBGray_Splatter
    • 56
    • RETWEETS
    Beer4AGoodTimeRealShaughnmrashid55ktburnhamGray_SplatterBwanaChris96bhhGirl_Censored
    TheAdamTroutman
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    A sitcom about teen girl aliens called UFOMG.

    • 161
    • FAVS
    NateMaybeimnotemoyetCMHorrocksLakelandradesi16DJ_JazzyJustinyobullyImaFlyontheWall
    • 69
    • RETWEETS
    MariusStefi247kit_dcImaFlyontheWalldeviantstrangerjaycubed2kRocketRankoon96bhhRestenfield
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    Don't you hate it when clothes shrink in the dryer or sometimes just sitting in your closet?

    • 145
    • FAVS
    ughmeg505evofckAndyWHIVjaycubed2kLeeLuvYogaidgaf_987_Ms_Moneypenny_Missy_Kell
    • 62
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnevofckjaycubed2kceliah7RocketRankoonMikeLallitiReynardrealniggi
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    After a few beers, I'm like Oprah with my favorites: "…and you get a star, and you get a star, and you get a star…"

    • 151
    • FAVS
    ArtfulDetectiveshooterofloveInsulinAddict12tweetmicka_Ms_Moneypenny_tiReynardHeartblakekid15BwanaChris
    • 40
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnshooterofloveInsulinAddict12tweetmickaRocketRankoonmrashid5596bhhlovemydogduck
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    To avoid the last minute rush, I'm getting my holiday weight gain out of the way early.

    • 142
    • FAVS
    LeeLuvYogashooteroflove_Ms_Moneypenny_SexySpainNights__Krantzy_PantztiReynardAmber_dudsBarrDaly
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnshooterofloveRocketRankoontiReynardAmber_dudsBeer4AGoodTimeAGreaterMonsteramyoneeeal
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    (Did I mention I've been running? I'm a runner now, so I have to work it into every conversation…)

    • 111
    • FAVS
    jaycubed2kmartin_dimechtweetmickagtdoops_duckrabbit_Ms_Moneypenny_Heartblakekid15valzhogan
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    jaycubed2ktweetmickagtdoopsRocketRankoonAGreaterMonsteriviguerBredwhEric_Bader________
    cdubbub__________
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    Yeah, well, if I were hot, you'd find me "bold" and "daring," not "creepy" and "I'm calling the cops"...

    • 90
    • FAVS
    HeyZeus666DagaDanzigchristensen_kelCassandrasJackKimberlyAblogShKristaTheKayThe_KJMBredwh
    • 46
    • RETWEETS
    christensen_kelMoodycabbieKimberlyAblogShjohnbeadohiolucylovegoodBeer4AGoodTimeRealShaughnmodernprincess
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    Damn you, typos! Damn you to help!

    • 95
    • FAVS
    _sharetheloadArtfulDetectivetweetmickamartin_dimechjilleb163_Ms_Moneypenny_Heartblakekid1596bhh
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    mtolson13_sharetheloadBeer4AGoodTimeRealShaughntweetmickaRocketRankoonPanettaSexyTimeBredwh
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    Successfully avoided the Freshman 15 only to succumb to the Thirties 30.

    • 88
    • FAVS
    jaycubed2kidgaf_987_Ms_Moneypenny_tiReynardKarlTheFagHeartblakekid15urgeekisshowingDrDweezil
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnjaycubed2knickwilson_1RocketRankoontiReynardKarlTheFagHeartblakekid15Beer4AGoodTime
    josephthomasPartySlicing
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    "Mama said check you out!"
    - me at the library getting a book recommended by my mother

    • 81
    • FAVS
    _Ms_Moneypenny_96bhhbipolarraccoonDaddyJewseeing_voiceslovemydogduckDrDweezilDONTJIMMYMEJULZ
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnlovemydogduckBredwhBobDonnelly6_CherriAnn_LanaAllende______RocketRankoonsarayikes
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    When the news interviews lottery winners & asks how they'll spend the money, just once I want to hear them say, "I'm going to the dentist!"

    • 69
    • FAVS
    shooterofloveZachamaroo_Ms_Moneypenny_Heartblakekid15hg47yesitsdarylbabyblue0924truetootrue
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnshooterofloveRocketRankoonbeingtheoPurpleCatJewelszombieparrotsass_n_assAwesome_Todd
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    When I see a hot guy on the dust jacket of a religious book, all I can think is, "Aww, that's a shame…"

    • 68
    • FAVS
    Zachamaroo_Ms_Moneypenny_tiReynardKarlTheFagsophia_be23Heartblakekid15peaceofclay890DONTJIMMYMEJULZ
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    RocketRankoonHeartblakekid15lovemydogducklh_baldwinthegayfarmerguy__Str8GuyGayQuoteFavstar500FavsEric_Bader________
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    Ugh! My food is always so cold by the time I'm done instagramming it!

    • 65
    • FAVS
    _Ms_Moneypenny_RNAwesomeSauce4SLarsCelebrityChezNotThatKristiHeartblakekid15zombieparrotThing_Finder
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnlynde19Beer4AGoodTimelovemydogduckBredwhNotReallyLibyR2_F2Zora_d_1991
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    I wish I were rich enough to own Apple products. Or be Republican. Or buy groceries.

    • 63
    • FAVS
    _Ms_Moneypenny_Heartblakekid15augtopiaThing_FinderDrDweezilDONTJIMMYMEJULZTmoney68jasonlight73
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnThing_FinderBredwhPeanut_WyolovemydogduckRocketRankoonTateRyannBourbonMommy
    warhorse76
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    Even my imaginary friends are huge dorks.

    • 69
    • FAVS
    _Ms_Moneypenny_Heartblakekid15RestenfieldDrDweezilDONTJIMMYMEJULZTmoney68jasonlight73Awesome_Todd
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    zombieparrotbarracuda330Eric_Bader________RocketRankoonFavstar500Favsmandystick71__XavierShame______CharlieeAnn03
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    There are people in this bar who don't have their phones out... I don't understand...

    • 51
    • FAVS
    Bredwh_Ms_Moneypenny_jannable9Cheetoe4countryqueenbeCoburnBronson__DanFuckinWhite13spencer
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnBredwhCoburnBronson__SaraESpiveyzombieparrotbjdjtexbizKimBru49CharmandBrains
    zombieparrot
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    You can really taste the 'z' in this can of spray cheeze...

    • 54
    • FAVS
    _Ms_Moneypenny_lovemydogduckDONTJIMMYMEJULZnatzz1997Dr_C2006ToxicProbablyTmoney68jasonlight73
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    Beer4AGoodTimeRealShaughnBredwhlovemydogduckTmoney68RocketRankoonjonesination______MrJack5150
@Jaden76

@Jaden76

Blerg. kik:Jaden1976 / Instagram:jaden_76