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  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    People who need the volume on an even number are crazy…it can also be on a multiple of five.

    • 389
    • FAVS
    cuddle_puddlefinancechargeChazzio123AmoryWarriorUnicornSyrup1CleverGirl1NameetSuranaHelpImAlive95
    • 171
    • RETWEETS
    financechargeGilly_monster_UnicornSyrup1CleverGirl1peter2peter2petKhrisWarhollyssa_machinisRicatSeraph
    Coy0teUgly________
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    Tip: When the cop asks you "Do you know how fast you were going?" do NOT respond with "I know, right?!"

    • 268
    • FAVS
    vivalacraphadafewbeersEversmanbearpiglacrossemom5jane_snowbalkelkulusBlackCheesePielemmywinkler
    • 117
    • RETWEETS
    SlydipthongShaunRightNowhellyeah63swollenvoiceameo02LMLMadnesschompy_jrdamnjustkelly
    HeyZeus666JadeR61799
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    I wonder how many hipsters realize they're simply dressed as characters from Mister Rogers' Neighborhood.

    • 230
    • FAVS
    EversmanbearpigswollenvoiceBabberSherabeefman138iamryanjensenTexansfangrrl70FrakkingAwesomematt_mervyn
    • 96
    • RETWEETS
    NewAmsterdam143M3lissaMcDonaldRealShaughnprettygoodyearCharlotteTvrdyjustinrigdontaylorcannon1moose_chocolate
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    It's kinda funny how I open a pint of ice cream and don't immediately throw away the lid.

    • 209
    • FAVS
    EversmanbearpigitsonlynessadamnjustkellyBrdnHatesYouBabberSheraTehNemsterbeefman138anvsony
    • 62
    • RETWEETS
    itsonlynessaBrdnHatesYouBabberSherabeefman138MexiCarliJustinGuariniBeer4AGoodTimeRealShaughn
    TheAdamTroutman
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    A sitcom about teen girl aliens called UFOMG.

    • 168
    • FAVS
    KhrisWarholEversmanbearpigBabberSherabeefman138MDaniel21MzVajM3lissaMcDonaldNateIsntFunny
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    MDaniel21MzVajdavid_tullMariusStefi247kit_dcImaFlyontheWalldeviantstranger__jaycubed2k
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    After a few beers, I'm like Oprah with my favorites: "…and you get a star, and you get a star, and you get a star…"

    • 179
    • FAVS
    EversmanbearpiglisakaypriceSilkySavagebeingtheojane_snowbalShaunRightNowchompy_jrJoleigh_77
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    lisakaypriceShaunRightNowerin_scruggsNikxitownBabberSheraskippyfrogzMusicalMelMayMike_Kaminsky
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    Don't you hate it when clothes shrink in the dryer or sometimes just sitting in your closet?

    • 153
    • FAVS
    PetrickSaranate_decosteEversmanbearpigtonibeepbeepri1BabberSheraNinjaSweatpantsbeefman138JustinGuarini
    • 68
    • RETWEETS
    loresantoloEversmanbearpigBabberSherastampEtrampNinjaSweatpantsbeefman138RealShaughnevofck
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    To avoid the last minute rush, I'm getting my holiday weight gain out of the way early.

    • 145
    • FAVS
    tonibeepbeepri1BabberSherabeefman138LeeLuvYogashooterofloveMoneypennyNakedSexySpainNightsKrantzy_Pantz
    • 51
    • RETWEETS
    BabberSherabeefman138RealShaughnshooterofloveRocketRankoontiReynardAmber_dudsBeer4AGoodTime
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    (Did I mention I've been running? I'm a runner now, so I have to work it into every conversation…)

    • 125
    • FAVS
    Twor76AnonysubShaunRightNowBlackCheesePieitsonlynessapinkdostoyevskyNikxitownstraightben
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    ShaunRightNowitsonlynessadamnjustkellyBrdnHatesYouBabberSherabeefman138jaycubed2ktweetmicka
    cdubbub__________
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    Yeah, well, if I were hot, you'd find me "bold" and "daring," not "creepy" and "I'm calling the cops"...

    • 96
    • FAVS
    Str8GuyGayQuotekelkulusShaunRightNowtonibeepbeepri1BabberSherajasonmfrancisBrokenPalabrasbeefman138
    • 51
    • RETWEETS
    ShaunRightNowsneezy20340967BabberSherabeefman138christensen_kelMoodycabbieKimberlyAblogShjohnbeadohio
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    Damn you, typos! Damn you to help!

    • 107
    • FAVS
    KhrisWarholgypsysoul_xwife_housyDompocalyptismkelkulusShaunRightNowBabberSheraSandaholics
    • 32
    • RETWEETS
    gypsysoul_xShaunRightNowjasonmfrancisbeefman138biakabutukamtolson13_sharetheloadBeer4AGoodTime
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    Went for a jog today. Still not thin. Exercise is bullshit...

    • 82
    • FAVS
    ShaunRightNowtonibeepbeepri1TriumphantJenBabberSherabeefman138WorstMamaBeTheCookieFavoritesYou
    • 48
    • RETWEETS
    BabberSheraGaffneylikesyoubeefman138BeTheCookiegreeninkhdKemie_08zcat7777DianeLindsay17
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    "Mama said check you out!"
    - me at the library getting a book recommended by my mother

    • 86
    • FAVS
    BabberSheraBrokenPalabrasshesjustamessbeefman138biakabutukaMoneypennyNaked96bhhbipolarraccoon
    • 30
    • RETWEETS
    beefman138RealShaughnlovemydogduckBredwhBobDonnelly6_CherriAnn_LanaAllende______RocketRankoon
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    Successfully avoided the Freshman 15 only to succumb to the Thirties 30.

    • 89
    • FAVS
    BabberSherajaycubed2kidgaf_987MoneypennyNakedtiReynardKarlTheFagHeartblakekid15urgeekisshowing
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnjaycubed2knickwilson_1RocketRankoontiReynardKarlTheFagHeartblakekid15Beer4AGoodTime
    josephthomasPartySlicing
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    Even my imaginary friends are huge dorks.

    • 90
    • FAVS
    ShaunRightNowBabberSherastarwarsshirtsarah6804thenoahkinseyForeverFree3339DaringDareBearclemwin
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    starwarsshirtsarah6804clemwinNyAdasHappynerd73awright1974JustinGuarinijoefrog1
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    When the news interviews lottery winners & asks how they'll spend the money, just once I want to hear them say, "I'm going to the dentist!"

    • 77
    • FAVS
    Str8GuyGayQuoteMentalMisterJdddurantShaunRightNowBabberSherauberpakiSunshineJarbolyNaked_Superman
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    ShaunRightNowNaked_SupermanRealShaughnshooterofloveRocketRankoonbeingtheoPurpleCatJewelszombieparrot
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    Ugh! My food is always so cold by the time I'm done instagramming it!

    • 69
    • FAVS
    ShaunRightNowBabberSheragreencrayshesjustamessbeefman138biakabutukaMoneypennyNakedRNAwesomeSauce
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    beefman138RealShaughnlynde19Beer4AGoodTimelovemydogduckBredwhNotReallyLibyR2_F2
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    When I see a hot guy on the dust jacket of a religious book, all I can think is, "Aww, that's a shame…"

    • 70
    • FAVS
    ShaunRightNowBabberSheraZachamarooMoneypennyNakedtiReynardKarlTheFagsophia_be23Heartblakekid15
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    RocketRankoonHeartblakekid15lovemydogducklh_baldwinthegayfarmerguy__Str8GuyGayQuoteFavstar500FavsEric_Bader________
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    I wish I were rich enough to own Apple products. Or be Republican. Or buy groceries.

    • 65
    • FAVS
    ShaunRightNowBabberSheraMoneypennyNakedHeartblakekid15augtopiaThing_FinderDrDweezilDONTJIMMYMEJULZ
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnThing_FinderBredwhPeanut_WyolovemydogduckRocketRankoonTateRyannBourbonMommy
    warhorse76
  • Jaden76
      Jake @Jaden76

    There are people in this bar who don't have their phones out... I don't understand...

    • 52
    • FAVS
    Str8GuyGayQuotetat2skatermomlacrossemom5ShaunRightNowBredwhMoneypennyNakedjannable9Cheetoe4
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    ShaunRightNowRealShaughnBredwhCoburnBronson__SaraESpiveyzombieparrotbjdjtexbizKimBru49
    zombieparrot
@Jaden76

@Jaden76

Blerg. kik:Jaden1976 / Instagram:jaden_76

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