@johnny_rockets hunted down the people who STARRED the @johnfreiler tweet to let us know we're tasteless assholes. This is spectacular.

A college-aged nerd is a small child who by some calamitous accident has been given a sex drive.

You either die the guy who made The Dark Knight or you live long enough to see yourself become the guy who made The Dark Knight Rises

Every time Sarah Palin calls herself a feminist, a baby becomes ugly.

Just came very close to calling a guy named Lou "Louseph," because for a moment I thought Lou was short for Louseph.

Joss Whedon tweets that writing is hard. "Whew! Validation!" sigh a million dweebs, closing half-finished FIREFLY specs and opening Tumblr.

We're so fuckassed conservative that the only one to call out the liberal president's murderbot bullshit is Rand Mothergoddamnfucking Paul?

Applying for jobs. Wondering why a dishwasher needs to give his opinion on inherent morality and why Chipote cares what I'm passionate about

Literally everybody I hang out with would be on that mental health registry.

My joke about how we didn't need to say grace because "God is dead" pretty much ruined Thanksgiving

Let's shoot for no more white male presidents.

I bet mosh pits were more fun before everyone was concerned about their phones.

Tip to journalists: If your headline contains the words "American Idol," please don't, please just stop

@johnfreiler I mean, I think it's fair to say the script is ultimately garbage, but goddamn if it wasn't shot and put together beautifully.

We all disagree on ethics and politics and religion and lifestyles and most art, but to my knowledge, nobody doesn't love Calvin & Hobbes.

I hope the Vatican pulls a TIME Magazine and the next Pope is "YOU"

January 24, 12:49 pm: I run out of peanut butter. Suddenly, unemployment is real.

#WeAlmostDatedBut the demon-goddess Illyria chose you as her vessel, annihilating your soul and wearing your shell-corpse thereafter

How you can be "not in favor of introducing new [gun control] legislation" after the summer we just had eludes the fuck out of me.

I love that two elections later, "Not Being George W. Bush" is still an important qualification.