@cryingducksman @timeout_comedy Sexily shitting the bed, actually

@litterrbox fof called 'Patio Pete'. He 'parently went to a party and did a shit on the patio. And his name is Pete.

@haroldzdalton howsabout #cyclinglegendsaremadeinthedolomites If you're not into the whole brevity thing?

Yes Margaret, we get it - you cannot relate to the dead bodies of the people. It makes you seem a poor choice to present this Pompeii docco

@littlelostlad sorry thought I'd replied already, yep dm away. Also @coyotefunny for Reading and Windsor humour

@thismademecool Summat about being a whore again? Tsch its a half rhyme at best

Gorra gig at Party Piece this very evening!  http://www.shakerandcompany.co.uk/party-piece-open-mic-comedy-in-the-basement … I must say it looks lovely @shaker_company @tomwebb

Looking at you The Netherlands RT @arenaflowers: I like Crest toothpaste too, France, but I'm not going to base my national flag around it.

TOTP2 CHRISTMAS SPECIAL - best give it a miss this year, eh? @twoptwips

We've all been there RT @ratbanjos: Without a doubt, the greatest photo of all time. http://t.co/wul3R1iH

DAMN! RT @wstonesoxfordst: A Flowchart to Determine Whether You Are Superman. http://t.co/rFfLnbxj

@jimmysixbellies I see no reason why thingy and wossname should ever be forgot