@James_Waters' (James R Waters) most faved Tweets...
I'm 27. I'm a banker. It's a Saturday night. I'm single.
I've built myself a pillow fort. At home.
This is why the economy is fucked.
I've built myself a pillow fort. At home.
This is why the economy is fucked.
Asked the receptionist ifshe validates parking. She responded with 'Your parking was awesome'. I AM IN LOVE.
Hot neighbour asked me when I'm 'coming out the closet'.
Um, when she's asleep and her husband is away from home. Just like last time.
Um, when she's asleep and her husband is away from home. Just like last time.
So Barack Obama is allowed to give an address to kids and i get arrested when i try and give them mine?
I was really disappointed to find out that the person arrested for stalking Miley Cyrus was not Death.
The great thing about decaf coffee is you don't get a feeling of loss when you throw it in the face of the motherfucker who brought me decaf
People are always asking me what my favourite gag is, so I tell them it's the one that stops the girl from screaming for help.
I'm still waiting for someone to explain this whole 'credit crunch' thing to me in a simple manner.
In Lehman's terms, if you will.
In Lehman's terms, if you will.
I hate 'Txt spk'. Vowels are not optional people. VOWELS ARE NOT OPTIONAL. Or, to cover all bases: VWLS R NT PTNL
Eating my subway, drinking my starbucks, listening to my iPod, planning a boost weekend in Vegas.
Fuck you, Al Qaeda.
Fuck you, Al Qaeda.
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