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Just saw a guy virtually challenge a Christmas tree he bumped into to a fight. Welcome to Glasgow on New Years Eve!
Remember folks, if you see a tweeter in real life and recognise them, the secret code is to approach them and whisper 'Tweet tweet!'
I'm a ray of sunshine
I'm a ray of fucking sunshine
I'm a black ray of fucking sunshine
I'm a black bloodstained ray of fucking sunshine..
Bill Roache, stuart hall, kevin webster, rolf harris, freddie star, jim davidson...fuck me the prison pantos gonna be good this year!
If Scottish Television would just change the name to the station to ‘A Lot of Fucking Shite’ then I wouldn’t get so angry about the output.
I’m going to make a Glasgow version of Jack Frost. It’s about a dead, alcoholic father coming back as a snowman called ‘Frosty Jack’.
Every time I get close to a hundred followers, I tweet something offensive (like a picture of my face) and lose a few.
'Dirty Dancing? What's so dirty about it?'
'Well, the women rub their fannies all over the men's thighs.'
God is dead?
I never even knew he was ill!
Just think; if you had a dog you could be wandering about in the cold, picking up shit right now.
First I got soaked in the rain and now the sun glaring off the wet street is hurting my eyes!
This planet is SHIT!!!
The jeans I've got in have a button missing and the zip periodically comes down.
That's what I'll be telling the police...
The only difference between summer and winter in this country is the temperature of the rain.
You may take our lives, but you'll never take...
Twitter gives me a feeling at times that I think I've made pals but then I worry that the pal maybe thinks 'Aw fuck! Not this creep again.'
Kicked off another rockn'roll Friday night by snoozing on the couch under a cosy. Now I'm going to make a cup of tea. I'm a fucking animal!
I love the dead before they’re cold…