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Those important seconds when your brain first deciphers if it's going to be Queen or Vanilla Ice that started playing.
I'm a lover of music and music has never betrayed me.
Some tweets you star because that person shared such a moment of vulnerability that your heart is the one hitting the fave button.
This is a passive aggressive tweet.
No, it's totally fine if you don't get it.
For my next trick, watch me make a girl roll her eyes just by sending her a text message.
She's the type that could destroy my heart. I'm the type to find the warmth in hers.
Melt in each other as we play with fire.
Vaginas are a superpower and kryptonite all at once.
My phone is dying, but my life is thriving.
If you were a body of water
I'd dive into you face first.
You're so fucking hot, you're still a hottie in that picture where you look like crap.
A moment of silence for hot avi girl who is boring as all fuck.
I've probably never done anything but care. Haha butt care, it's important people. Squats & stuff. Butt stuff. Ha I'm stupid. Don't care.
That awkward moment when somebody overdoes it with the awkward moment tweets.
DENISE, HOLD MY BALLS DENISE. I MEAN CALLS. YES, I KNOW WE'RE IN THE SAME ROOM. NO, I SAID CALL.. Nm, great job, Denise
Hurry up and get in my life. I want to make you smile lots and lots.
"You're not even that fucking hot, but you're funny as fuck" is too a compliment.
Say something non-fairytale and see if she's a woman or a girl.
Stay strong through the hard times. You must pass that test so you can adequately help others. It honors everyone who's ever loved you.
Wanna share my bud with you and taste you everyday.
Be your taste bud.
She knows it all, but could learn a lot from me. I know almost nothing, but I know I could make her happy.
Departures to stupid shit. Replaced Air Marshall with a DJ. Word has it last night a DJ saved my life. // http://t.co/9jYKYFDcEn