If yout don't love billy Joel or know the words to his songs, get the fuck out of long island you don't belong here

"Are you a hostess cupcake? 'Cause youre about to get the cream filling!" #failedpickuplines

Driving circles around the coliseum parking lot honking my horn because fuck it! LETS GOOOOOOO ISLANDERS. WE'RE GOOD AGAIN!

I dont get it, where did all the yankee fans go on my timeline?

@mandaswaggie You are awarded no points, and may god have mercy on your soul

I'm horngy

Taylor Swift really needs to get over her ex boyfriend(s)

@raverrandee420 look who's back on twitter!!!!!

Enough of this instagram shit, No one wants to see a picture of the grilled cheese you ate for lunch today.

Wanna hear a joke? Eli Manning.

Carly Rae Jenpsen has a sex tape..i guess someone finally called her

Keep doubting the #ISLES. See you bitches Sunday.

@alternativepm ever smoke a blunt whilst listening to James blunt?

Came all the way down from long island to Washington to watch the @nyislanders play tomorrow.

Who the fuck tweets about insomnia at 1140 at night?

I hate when fat people tag themselves at the gym on Facebook

Now a stapler is going around to staple packets. The stapler comes to him kid raises his hand "EXCUSE ME I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE A STAPLER"

One day John Tavares will hoist that cup... Probably for a different team

LETS GOOOOOOO ISLANDERS

Now I can be disappointed by the islanders again1