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What would you doooo for a xanax bar.
And momma said, "Let there be rum" and there was rum and it was good.
I could really go for a healthy dose of tapeworms.
I hate people
I got dressed to go workout...can that count as my workout?
Mommy drinks because you play a recorder.
Damn right I'm writing a check at the grocery store. It's called floating a check bitch. Not everyone inherits a trust fund.
The moon is beautiful tonight.
Every time I put on my swimsuit I die a little bit inside.
This rum taste like I can't feel my morals. Ha ha jokes on you, I never had any to begin with.
Goodnight you guys. Thanks for making me smile. ;)
Women who act like selfish bitches raise their daughters to be selfish bitches. Break the fucking cycle. Ugh!!
So pardon me while I burst into flames
If you wanna ride, Ride the white pony
7yr old is skipping through house singing, "dooms day is on it's way." We totally win at parenting.
Make laundry fun. Take a shot every time you match a pair of socks.