"@earth_pics: Terrified Panda hugging police officer's leg after an earthquake. pic.twitter.com/o9zfxc4g" currently crying this is so presh.

Current Relationship Status: Dancing alone in living room to all the videos in the Dance/Electronica genre on On Demand.

"You slapped a fish.. you punched it- why would you hit it?"

#EasilyAttractedTo food

@shitgirlssay I'm still hungry, that low-fat bagel didn't fill me up.

@shitgirlssay I was the first one to compliment Stef on her highlights.

#NewPopTartFlavors Bacon flavored sunshine.

I don't have the mental-willingness to actually wake up tomorrow, so I'll see you guys in July.

I just need a break from technology & people.

If Mariah Carey ever took up Mexican music and didn't refer to herself as Mariachi Carey; her entire career was a fraud.

I'd actually watch twilight if it was about mermaids and cats and not vampires and warewolves.

I love the smell of BBQ. <3 it makes me feel like it's summer.

I want it to be daylight savings time so I can have more time allotted in my day for running.

#PerksOfDatingMe I will bring you anything you need if your sick and I would still cuddle with you regardless if you were contagious or not.

#PerksOfDatingMe my style dates would be the bomb-diggity.

#PerksOfDatingMe I will take you to your favorite restaurant but in return you have to watch a funny movie of my choosing. Then you pick.

New TV show idea: The Literal Liberal. It tells you "my head is spinning" and guess what: it actually is. #LiteralLiberalJokes

"@uberfacts: Scopophobia is the morbid fear of being seen or stared at by others." Me. Me. Me. 100% me.

#ImAttractedTo anyone who would stop me from calling Jenny Craig.

I don't want it to rain, I just want it to be crisp weather.