Who wants to hear about my cat?

Am I the only person that finds it strange that the laugh track on iCarly sounds like a bunch of grown men?

White people stink is trending....How did twitter know I didn't shower yesterday?

Do any of my new followers know my alter ego?

This is how completely out of the loop I am....I could not figure out why #TOAST is trending.....oh my.

My night off and my plans are curling up on the couch and watching television. Getting old SUCKS.

I'm listening to Britney Spears. Don't judge me.

Hear no evil, see no evil, tweet no evil.

Mayo or Miracle Whip can be the deciding factor for our friendship.

After my calculations, I spent almost $600 yesterday.....No, I don't have the slightest bit of buyers remorse. These shoes are HOT.

My boyfriend thinks the Democrat deserved to get shot. Thinking about packing my things.

The first day of school immediately replaces Christmas as the best day of the year when you become a parent.

Just finishing up a lovely 2nd shift, on my bed, with a guy popping a pimple on my shoulder.....like a boss??

Tron is currently playing on the DVD....guess who is going out before she rips her hair out and destroys everything in sight??

Shoes are my weakness.

Well, shoes and boys...

Great....sick kid in the house with my healthy kid who goes back to school on Monday. GREAT.

Are baby books still a thing with Facebook and Youtube keeping track of every movement of people's kids?

That entire bag of chips I ate for dinner last night might not have been such a good idea....

Put on my size 7 jeans from last year and they are 2 sizes too big now......feelin' good :)

Must. Find. Motivation........