Without all the drugs I'm pretty sure she cant smile

BREAKING NEWS FROM ELLENSBURG WASHINGTON pic.twitter.com/HOMnkuVWxG

If all guys just agreed on a boycott of texting pretty girls you could lower their self esteem and create a humble nation of women.

Facebook poking is the creepiest form of flirting a guy can do

Member of the Cannibal Holocaust tribe spotted at CWU? pic.twitter.com/VCrJ7ttaUc

Russian nesting dolls are so full of themselves

Dixie chicks are my shitttttttt

If you constantly retweet parody accounts, don't be upset when I unfollow you.

Attractive girls always have a shit ton of Instagram followers. Could literally post pictures of dirt, every single day. And still have 400+

RT “@idntwearcondoms: If women like nice guys there would be no such thing as the friend zone”

Come on Keivarae.. pic.twitter.com/koeNRO6L

My roommate seriously skipped his class to stay in the room and watch cat videos on YouTube..

I could retweet all of @unf0rg1vable tweets

Aaaaand my roommates a nerd.

Somebody sent @maddynealey's drafts

I hate when peoples conversations blow up my twitter feed. If its going to be more than a few tweets, just text each other.

Don't say " #teamtatted". Especially if you only have one tattoo.

This old lady is seriously out here pumping gas in her bra. The fuck..

@carly_dudley http://t.co/e1mZXx91

“@jimgaffigan: The only thing more depressing than being fat is the thought of being hungry.” @calebtui_74 @doctasong79