I Only Say "God Bless You" Twice. If You Sneeze A Third Time I Assume You Cant Be Blessed And You're A Demon Who Must Be Destroyed.

I Do Everything Faster When I Have To Pee.

If Guys Had Periods, They’d Brag About The Size Of Their Tampons.

Worrying Is A Waste Of Time. It Doesn’t Change Anything. It Messes With Your Mind & Steals Your Happiness.

If One Black Person Runs. . .We All Run

I'm Not Feeling Myself Today. . . . . Perhaps I Should Feel Someone Else.

The Awkward Moment When You’ve Already Said “What?” Three Times And Still Have No Idea What The Person Said, So You Just Agree.

Smelling Shampoo Lotion Or Candles And Wanting To Eat It But Can't <<<<<<<

Rearrange These Words: 1) PNEIS 2) HTIELR 3) NGGERI 4) BUTTSXE... Did You Read: Spine, Lither, Ginger & Subtext? Sureeee You Did

"thepenisinmymouth" Did You Read: The Pen Is In My Mouth? Sureee You Did Lol

Ah Yes, The Past Can Hurt. But The Way I See It, You Can Either Run From It Or Learn From It

Guess Who Doesn't Give A Fuck! *Raises Hand* :)

My Ex Wanna Work It Out. . .Bitch Try Yoga

Eating A Sandwich And The Bread Gets Stuck On The Roof Of Your Mouth <<<<<

If You Can't Be Happy Being Single How Do You Expect To Be Happy Being In A Relationship?

When You Hear Your Own Voice Recorded And Think..."OMG I Sound Horrible"

I Have A Friend Named David He Lost His ID Yesterday. . .We Call Him Dav Now. RT If You Get It :)

I Hate When I Beat Someone And Their Excuse Is "I Wasn't Trying"

I Only Twerk For Jesus

Dear Dude Sitting Next To Me,

I Can See You Copying My Test. . .

Sincerely, Jokes On You, I Didn't Study Either :P