Masturbating feels like pizza tastes

I'm not only your fuck buddy. I'm also your friend.

My elderly coworker told me her lobster sauces thickness reminded her of semen.Then the song-memories- played & she shed a tear.

This seems like a simple enough request 😉 http://t.co/1XEQdlSr

I'm not going xmas shopping. I'm just gonna give out cash. Make it rain ho ho ho now shut up.

Totally twisted think m going to make a rational decision just throw my clothes in the bag. Worry bout wrinkles later.

Best bathroom pic ...Jlo still is a bad ass chica  http://instagr.am/p/Ucob9KsmXB/ 

We need a night of total debauchery. Fucking, blazing, drinking & fucking some more

Peek a boo #big #booty POW! http://t.co/r2Tcq2GN

Come Fly With Me Foxy Brown ft Sizzla http://t.co/XCfG5BxW

Love it #420 #weed #puff  http://instagram.com/p/afGdLpMmWL/ 

#humpday  http://instagram.com/p/aLhTBksmbM/ 

#Gemini known to be a #flirt. I'm such a fucking #tease (*¯︶¯*)  http://instagram.com/p/Z8Uhp1MmX_/ 

My farts are J U I C Y

#Wine #Heineken and a #blunt outside. Luvin this weather #summer #nyc  http://instagram.com/p/Zoi8Posmfq/ 

#ShoutOut to @jeremiah_bonez for the shout out and #IG luv. Follow him for some #funny shit.  http://instagram.com/p/ZlMkyDsmXE/ 

Alcohol makes laundry tolerable. Alcohol actually makes everything tolerable.

#freaky #friday are you a butt man? Hehe  http://instagram.com/p/Y2ZJ2LMmcK/ 

#Hate #Monday  http://instagram.com/p/YsG1BZMmT4/ 

Can we get this #drunk #text #app???  http://instagram.com/p/YoUB_9MmcE/