#ff @slabbaconbp whose swear jar equals the net worth of bulgaria

@hallowedcrow PLEASE "LIKE" ME ON FACEBOOK I WILL "LIKE" YOU BACK

thank you, ben! RT @beninoz #FF @joshuamerrick1 @2birdtalk @zettieleeuw @deannajewel @roospooscreate @donnypep @vancatsrule @magdaolchawska

feeling itchy after working in the garden. can't tell if i'm allergic to sun or hard work.

@silentbutdanny to rub in the shame

my dog's not the smartest thing on four legs, but when you say "doughnut" it's like he can see into your very soul.

@slabbaconbp @andrewmonea when my boyfriend wears his old navy sweatshirt i tell him he looks like a giant toddler.

@lavendartime @thedairylanddon i was hoping it was today. would really help me cut down on my to-do list.

@fynyx so. many. good. scenes.

@fynyx @gameofthrones i know - sob. tyrion and shae!!! <3 so many good scenes...

i can't believe i have to wait an entire year minus 10 weeks to see the next season of Game of Thrones :( #ValarMorghulis

excellent episode of #GameOfThrones, evidently written by GRRM himself -- peter dinklage is superb

i got a call from my credit card co. saying they froze my card because i had an amazon purchase at 3:30 a.m.

sometimes i see the single sock lying in the road and think - maybe that's my sock.

@jordan__lake that's when you've got to do the "breaking away" lean back + two peace signs in the air

@shatterpants outdated book? you mean the MS DOS manual?

@robertavila5 right, mr. two-for-one-appetizers-at-applebees.

@vaguelyfunnydan which lamp is it?

@seanvandaleyes @harbingerr she's not *that* close

i offended so many people today. soooooo many people. in real life, though. not on twitter.