#fact most of life's problems could be solved with a second helping of tater tots.

#fact life would be so much better with an on demand burrito button.

Cop: walk like a ninja to the shuttle. We won't ticket you. Me: my ninja skills cannot be recorded for obvious reasons. #jbltakescoachella

#datingdetox purchase an outfit for the sole purpose of impressing myself. Check!!!! pic.twitter.com/HMFRwD2d

#love “@ejeremy: A pensive @jenfriel. Welcome to her journey... pic.twitter.com/cuxlPNHO”

#truth  http://instagr.am/p/R8Xj_jrsVU/ 

A guy just came up to me asking to feel his shirt. what material is this? My response: cotton. His response: boyfriend material #facepalm

#fact Jesus should have known that its pics or it didn't happen

Step 1: pick up dudes. Step 2: clean mirror #todolist pic.twitter.com/7ZbzRucv7Y

I was ready for a zombie apocalypse but death by meteor? Well played universe! #Russia #meteor

And one for the women everywhere! Thank you #calvinklein #superbowl

#fact i get offended when i post a web job somewhere and people automatically reply w "dear sir" #deleted

@anniechang8877g @richiekawamoto @qrkim @angelinestacy @bryankramer @lenejyttehansen @sandraz @tzarulnicolai :)

#thatawkwardmomentwhen a guy u met last night improperly uses a contraction and uses the word "da" in a text. #notgoingtohappen

#fact showers wash away the puke but not the shame. #vegas

Hey @bensavage I'm sitting @ table next to u & u accused us of cheating- I would kill a teammate if they cheated at trivia FYI. #thatisall

skype date with @eblarden for his @onehundreddates project. #yaylife

brain wont slow down after a meeting tonight. need to fall asleep - cant. decided to dance myself into slumber. 1 person dance parties FTW!

Omw downtown to try on #oscars dresses. This is such a chore for a chick that lives in hoodies. #bah

#Fact: If you have to ask yourself, "does this outfit make me look hoochie?" the answer is always yes. #thatisall