Saw a pretty red bird in the backyard. I think it might be a femal cardinal. When the cat brings it in I'll get a closer look.

My recently deceased aunt unfriended me on FB. From the grave! Either that, or her husbands an asshole.

Was just quoted $600 to trim unruly bittersweet bushes. I want to cut them back, not fly them to Florida.

One of the best explanations of social media I have seen: http://t.co/fMzbdnVa

Found my son's underpants on the couch this morning. Its not what you think, unless you thought he put them on the cat and she got away.

My son has to bring dirt to school for a project. I knew the school budget was strained, but I didn't realized we'd reached dirt poor.

My cub scout is marching in the Memorial Day parade and then he has a baseball game and then Norman Rockwell's going to paint us.

Tornadoes in Massachusetts on the day Sarah Palin visits. Picture red designer peep-toe shoes sticking out from under a house.

Home from the Cape and didn't get eaten by a shark. Sharks don't like people all dressed up in fancy clothes who don't go swimming.

Dear eye-rolling Game Stop employee: I get it, you know more about video games than I do. Congratulations on taking that skill set so far.

Best part of my husband going to convention this weekend (so far?) Liquid dinner. And I don't mean SlimFast.

New Easter tradition alert: Water balloon fight! They're like eggs, but more explode-y.

Proud of my son's 123% score on his science test.
Well, proud and worried about grade inflation, but mostly proud.

When you're putting Old Spice in your son's Easter basket, maybe he's too old for an Easter basket.

Some jokester wrote "Kat Fud" on the shopping list. Unless the cats are hungry enough to learn how to write.

My peanut-allergic son is at the Red Sox game with his dad, so I had a Mr. Goodbar and a Snickers for dinner.

Field day at boy's school. I'm signed up to run relay race that involves sitting on balloons to pop them. Must not say "ass" to kids.

The last 2 times I wore my suit it was to funerals. I hope the dry cleaner can get the shame & regret out. Smells like Catholic church.

Actual post on Freecycle: LOST EMAIL ON PERSON WITH TEH HOOKE DON PHONITCS CAN U PLAESE GET IN TOUCH WITH ME I STILL WANT IT THANKS.

Facebook suggested I might know someone named Franky Fingers. Facebook thinks I'm in the Italian mob.