Its called 'sunkissed' not 'dorito raped'.

Sorry I'm not Adele. I don't wish the best for you nor do I want to find someone like you. I do however want to set fire to all your stuff.

Girl rule: If she talks to my boyfriend, I hate her and she's a whore.

I accidentally typed ;) instead of :) and now he thinks I want to fuck

Skinny = anorexic , thick = obese , virgin = too good , non-virgin = slut , friendly = fake , quiet = rude. You can never please society.

My mind is like Hollister. A dark place but filled with hot boys.

Fuck texting. Fuck talking on the phone. Sneak out & come see me in person.<3

I wanna write "I miss you" on a rock and throw it at your face so you know how much it hurts to miss you.

This is a "A" and "B" conversation so "C" your way out before "D" jumps over "E" and "F"s you up like a "G"

No hun, I don't want your boyfriend. Nobody wants your boyfriend... that's why he's with you.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause lets fuck.

Mom: "What happened to ___ *insert old friend name*? You used to be close." Me: "Fuck that bitch."

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

Who else hates the sound of their own voice on video?

Taking your bra off at the end of a super long day is quite possibly one of best feelings ever.

Doctor: "Ok, so what's wrong, how are you feeling?" Me: *Looks at mom waiting for her to explain*

I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans and I can't find my boots with the fur.

Fuck you, fuck everything we had, fuck all the plans we made, fuck the memories, just fuck fuck fuckity fuck it all.

I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.

me: *sneeze* class: *silence* popular person: *sneeze* class: GOD BLESS YOU, LORD JESUS LET GOD PROTECT YOU FROM THAT SNEEZE. AMEN!