Note:

All men with your cock as your avi

You're wasting your time

We want to see your face

Cos that's what we'll be fucking first baby

Dear Guys on Twitter

We'd maybe believe yr flattery if u didn't say the same 2 every other girl on twitter

Love from
Every girl on twitter

And yes, I did google how to spell pharmaceutical. I just knew I couldn't slip 'farmasooticul' past you clever bastards

I wonder if I'll ever get drunk enough to switch on

'tweet location'

Not a fucking chance! I kinda like not being dead in swamps

I just don't get it? how come inmates on death row don't ask for pussy as their last meal?

My own Mum has had 6 lumps removed from her body. So if my avi reminds women to cop a feel then EXCELLENT if u don't like it? Fuck off prude

I just said "you auto-complete me" to someone I care for

God help me, if THAT doesn't win him over - nothing will

When you get starred & RT by someone you totally respect on here, it makes you wanna totally screw them till un-respect you ;-)

I'm cold now.... Hug me?

I know, shutup 'you're so needy Jenny'

I'm not needy - I'M WANTEY

Apologies. I've had a drink tonight.


By drink I mean. Bottle. By tonight I mean everyfuckingnight

When you don't get their 'good night gorgeous' and 'good morning beautiful' text anymore. Sorry. He's just not that into you.

Honestly, I'm knackered. I just did a yawn wide enough for 3 dicks. And a midget for good measure

Swallows for follows





Not really, I'll do it for free

I know the way to mans heart. It's from behind him. One hand on his cock, the other hooping his ass

"you're all the biggest cunty assfelchin spackmongs I ever met - 'like' THAT you helmet dribbles"

- Jennys facebook status update

It's time for me to retreat to my bed. Cosy up & spoon my pillow


By spoon I mean knuckle-dive

By pillow I mean sausage wallet

But u knew

When you miss someone. Muchly. You can't function. That

So for all the fucksies who don't like when I say funsies I suggest u bail nowsies before I smash your nadsies with my Circulon Elitesies

Just kidding! Only fella I want unloading his sacks on my tits is Santa

A few #ff will follow today. If I don't mention you. Don't worry, it still means I want to cover yr helmet in marmite and chow down