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A guy saying "why ya gotta be so rude" is reason enough to not let him marry your daughter.
Elevator unselect buttons, am I right??
One "bless you" per SET of sneezes.
Worse than not knowing "your/you're" is being proud of knowing "your/you're."
Who cares if the world is falling apart? Tonight is the season 3 premiere of The Mindy Project (FOX 9:30/8:30c)! Enjoy...
It makes me sad that John Adams isn't around to see all this 4th of July nail art.
When I open a hotel, you won't have to rearrange all the furniture and dismantle the lamps to charge your phone.
A good first date is when you share 8 or more "Right?!?"s.
"Weird, I remembered it being way funnier. -- the aftermath of showing coworkers any youtube video
Andre Agassi was the bad boy of tennis because he wore a bunch of magenta.
Tonight is the season finale of The Mindy Project. I don't want to give anything away. Just watch. It's the best. FOX/9:30
I may not have a Valentine, but I still have my tiny pumpkin from Halloween.
I hope the anticipation of having a kid matches how I feel when the beverage cart gets close to my airplane row.
Writer for The Mindy Project on FOX; previously Head Monologue Writer, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon on NBC. I also like animals a lot. Instagram: jeremybronson