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Elevator unselect buttons, am I right??
It makes me sad that John Adams isn't around to see all this 4th of July nail art.
When I open a hotel, you won't have to rearrange all the furniture and dismantle the lamps to charge your phone.
Andre Agassi was the bad boy of tennis because he wore a bunch of magenta.
"Weird, I remembered it being way funnier. -- the aftermath of showing coworkers any youtube video
I may not have a Valentine, but I still have my tiny pumpkin from Halloween.
I hope the anticipation of having a kid matches how I feel when the beverage cart gets close to my airplane row.
If you don't know what's going on in the writers room, just say, "I think we can get to that faster."
girls : mean guys :: guys : crazy girls
"I like him. He's really dramatic on Twitter." -- TV drama considering a writer
So if I post a photo to facebook, twitter, & instagram, do I get to add up all the likes/faves? Just want to keep score fairly.
Crazy coincidence that every film this year was about the human spirit.
Not even James Franco could pull off transitions lenses.
No matter what you do in life, there will never be higher stakes than getting out the high school newspaper by deadline.
Writer for The Mindy Project on FOX; previously Head Monologue Writer, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon on NBC. I also like animals a lot. Instagram: jeremybronson