I live paycheck to paycheck and bootycall to bootycall

I think my life is boring enough for me to start tweeting again

@tayl0rjj thought you'd like this quote! RT @wespeakslut: same shit different boy.

We need a distraction, so either get a sense of humor or a six pack

If I wanted to have an intelligent conversation with a guy, I would still be dating my teachers

Tsunami sympathy win, #worldcupfinal

You're dating like the hottest guy from tool academy

The song "Aint to Proud to Beg" by The Temptations basically describes my sex life to a T at the moment

Seeking: bootycall to hook up with everyday, make me laugh, never get jealous, and not fall in love with me

its 1:11, make a bootycall wish

Could all the not cute guys stop getting cuter between drink 3 & 8?

Drunk sex: work out + no drunk eating = summer diet @ohheyynikki

When I think a new boy I like is sexy I look at his old awkward facebook pictures to remind myself to not be a in-the-moment slut

fancy finding you mysterious drunk bruise

It'd be really awesome if the boyfriend I made up for the ugly guys that hit on me was actually real

Lucky for you, I'm drunk

How and why is there not toothpaste commercials targeting redwine loving alcoholics? #marketingmajor

You know what you and my last relationship both have in common? Neither of you have worked out

Just noticed a bruised handprint ..on the back of my thigh ..in the gym ..in front of everyone #sluttygirlproblems

Dad called while I'm on the train asking what groceries I wanted "white wine, apples, skim milk, and like three more bottles of white wine"