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I live paycheck to paycheck and bootycall to bootycall
I think my life is boring enough for me to start tweeting again
We need a distraction, so either get a sense of humor or a six pack
If I wanted to have an intelligent conversation with a guy, I would still be dating my teachers
Tsunami sympathy win, #worldcupfinal
You're dating like the hottest guy from tool academy
The song "Aint to Proud to Beg" by The Temptations basically describes my sex life to a T at the moment
Seeking: bootycall to hook up with everyday, make me laugh, never get jealous, and not fall in love with me
its 1:11, make a bootycall wish
Could all the not cute guys stop getting cuter between drink 3 & 8?
When I think a new boy I like is sexy I look at his old awkward facebook pictures to remind myself to not be a in-the-moment slut
fancy finding you mysterious drunk bruise
It'd be really awesome if the boyfriend I made up for the ugly guys that hit on me was actually real
Lucky for you, I'm drunk
How and why is there not toothpaste commercials targeting redwine loving alcoholics? #marketingmajor
You know what you and my last relationship both have in common? Neither of you have worked out
Just noticed a bruised handprint ..on the back of my thigh ..in the gym ..in front of everyone #sluttygirlproblems
Dad called while I'm on the train asking what groceries I wanted "white wine, apples, skim milk, and like three more bottles of white wine"
Post-Grad Temple University'11, Retail Manager, Back Home in North Jersey and Drinking Excessively in Suburbia