They should make special coffee for Mondays...with like crack in it

You say no to ratchet

By the time I've waved my hand in front of the sensor for the paper towel dispenser 70 times my hands are already dry, thank you very much

Dear Nintendo Wii, if I wanted to use my entire body to play sports..I would play sports.

-vine or it didn't happen

This is probably not an obstacle many of you will have to face, but for the record, freeze pops and toothpaste don't mix. 😞

Take me to the zoo so I know it's real 🐊

Cooking and grilling in heels with a beer. Hint: someone marry me and support me with $$$$$

Is everyone day drinking except for me? Still haven't put pants on

What is it about this town that insists on taking all my money, dignity and physical health night after night. #Carbondaleproblems

Bored and doing squats ..? #sundayfunday

I want to daydrink...but in my bed...and alone..

I wanna go to six flags

#assoverboobsbecause is trending wooop

No sleep, going for a run wtf #fixme

I turned down free ice cream today...can't say I still agree with that decision

@sharkhands that's what I'm here for!

Straight from the lips of @jennmarge you heard it here first pic.twitter.com/jrIr6gkQ9P

“@sharkhands: @jessreanne I sent that in confidence... :(” my bad, the people needed to know.

Guys I have a stalker... pic.twitter.com/SbQyksF8ON