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"How tight should I tie my shoes, dad?"
"There should be as much tension as the set of Mr and Mrs Smith when Aniston came to visit"
Hey people of Facebook, nobody cares about your sick children
Bæ/bae is a Danish word for poop.
I've never been an escort but I have been escorted out of a lot of places.
I don't read tweets of people with ugly avi's. That'd be like going up to an ugly person in real life and asking about their day.
One time in the kitchen I didn't eat a taco so I could no longer enjoy life.
You'd need an elevator to get up to my level of crazy. Instagram: JessicaFancy
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