Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Women who give horrible blowjobs are the real terrorists.
I'm only in a relationship to blame him for EVERYTHING THAT GOES WRONG EVER.
Stab people immediately for giving you a recipe these are the worst kinds of people they must die.
Fuck the crazy out of me.
Moderation is for poor people
Women are not confusing. Yes we are. No we're not. Haha. Cute. Ugly. Gross. Happy. Sad. Yes. No. Safe. Hazardous. What? OMG THIS IS MY SONG!
I don't like pretending to be happy, so I'm never getting married.
It's super weird being in a relationship with someone who doesn't treat me like shit.
My sugar daddy NEVER has any candy. :(
I hate life.
Him: I love you
Me: I love Ryan Gosling
Next year everything is going to be so different! - Idiots
Glitter is like a Bat Signal but for whores.
A woman's heart is just as dumb as a guy's dick.
Wrote him a note asking him why he thought I was crazy. On his arm. With a knife.
I want to be buried in a burrito.
If you're sad, remember: It can always get worse. And worse. And worse. And worse. And apocalyptically bad... Then, you die. Hooray death.
Don't flirt with me unless you want me to spend the next nine to thirteen months stalking you.
Women should start being coaches on sports teams to show men how to win every game by really cool mind games and crying and boobs.
Him: I love you.
Me: Awww, words and stuff.
You'd need an elevator to get up to my level of crazy. Instagram: JessicaFancy