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  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    When faced with a challenge, save valuable time by giving up immediately. Now you have more time for naps!

    • 52
    • FAVS
    metafrothannmariedgafBillMc7DONTJIMMYMEJULZIntoxicaTweetedJeanM617BillSleazyAspersioncast
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    favstar50trvlfxPepperVonJustMeWithSSDatedJustCallMeFrankconfusedlush__Autokrator
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    It's never too late to lose all hope.

    • 36
    • FAVS
    metafrothBillMc7DONTJIMMYMEJULZIntoxicaTweetedBustaPanicBillSleazyAspersioncastPetro_Letro
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    GirlLovesIndiePoorVidahoytsterrcoreymmeyersspatcannonkateKIMBALLuovidiuYKnot
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    Freedom's just another word for "nobody wants to hang out with you."

    • 33
    • FAVS
    metafrothBillMc7DONTJIMMYMEJULZJeanM617BustaPanicMothpeteAMNelson999darkdraggon
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    zoharavgarBillSleazygethsemanesky_goodwilldonniLohkoLeo
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    I can rotate the Earth with the power of my mind.

    • 26
    • FAVS
    metafrothDONTJIMMYMEJULZJeanM617BillSleazyAspersioncastunstatusfactorymissjevremovicLJM015
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    PoeticSymmetry_LJM015Haulinzx6rrFursflyingfaisaladam_lemonmeringue74favstar_popwilly94972
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    You guys think it's easy being a ROCK STAR FROM MARS? The gravity here is heavy! I use cocaine to lighten it.

    • 28
    • FAVS
    metafrothJeanM617BillSleazyAspersioncastsnickychicktravisezellDeedsWalkerStuwakley
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    produceman40205kraaitje007Bianca9718pono_streetwearwaywoodswayne_b_johnsonIAmSoNot
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    New Twitter is New Coke, hombres. Some of you are too young to remember New Coke. Let me tell ya, it was not an improvement.

    • 22
    • FAVS
    DONTJIMMYMEJULZBustaPanicBillSleazyAspersioncastrzbahTiptoeJenkinscoffeeismylifeexastrls
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    AuRtistshesaliarArktistBigLadoodonni
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    Remember that girl I was hanging out with, had the Adam's Apple, always mixing me tasty fizzy purple margaritas? WHOA. That got weird.

    • 24
    • FAVS
    BustaPanicBillSleazyAspersioncastsnickychickSCbchbumscotthellrisingbaxbrew27Braun_Shooga
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    ImNotAMurdererdonni
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    Smoking dope doesn't really make you a better driver, right? Ron says it does, but he's high as hell, so he's biased.

    • 17
    • FAVS
    ericgunder22BustaPanicBillSleazyconsprcy_carrotnatesle7enRitleySammichhazeyhaleykramediggles
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    ericgunder22Aspersioncast
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    I AM WORTH OVER $100 BILLION DOLLARS ON THE CELLULAR LEVEL!

    • 11
    • FAVS
    BillSleazyAspersioncastsnickychickkomodoo69bulldogrohr294HulaBabeeinmynewskinprinceofshelton
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    kraaitje007PattyAnnLJOHNNYTHEBEAGLEjoenoiadonniStacia333
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    Thursday is that last couple inches of upper thigh before you brush up against the sexy ladyparts of the weekend.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    BillSleazyPaarinShahadambationstankloafliljack73AspersioncastSlowAcedjhammer59
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    ineedapiggconsprcy_carrot
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    My buddy said "Pot is crap" so I said "God don't make no junk!" He replied "If God don't make junk, where does junk come from?" Mind. BLOWN.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    CVTBabyBustaPanicBillSleazyconsprcy_carrotAspersioncastiyaelsoraidreamc52ant_danielle
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    JOHNNYTHEBEAGLEmjap58
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    Got a microwaveable burrito at 7/11, but I had the munchies so bad I ate it on the way home, still frozen. Tasted like a rock salt popsicle.

    • 11
    • FAVS
    CVTBabyBustaPanicBillSleazyconsprcy_carrotAspersioncastsnickychickCountRockulakramediggles
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    So many chicks smoke weed nowadays, I'm starting to worry that toking up makes me look like a sissy. Or maybe it's this dildo-shaped bong.

    • 10
    • FAVS
    BustaPanicBillSleazyconsprcy_carrotAspersioncastsnickychickshanetheveinJustCallMeFrankscotthellrising
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    Maybe you're a loser, but at least the whole country isn't chuckling at blurry pics of your package right now.

    • 1
    • FAV
    snickychick
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    wavefreek1DopeMexican_AnneLouise47haleymayhewbr0tesqueJaKobFuCk__FrankUwhoreWhiskeyBottlez
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    SHIT! Did any of you guys just see a naked hairy old dude run by with, like, one arm on fire? I'm supposed to be giving him his medicine!

    • 6
    • FAVS
    NikHimselfcontrol_zedJeanM617mrsnovocaine__________teh_paparzbah
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    JeanM617teh_papa
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    To the unemployed, every Monday is a celebration of your independence. LOLJK! It's just another reminder that the American Dream failed you.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    BillSleazyconsprcy_carrotAspersioncastsnickychickscotthellrisingSkipperStevensennui101
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    mmwright82
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    I like to get high and think about stuff. I have some cool thoughts, but I always forget 'em.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    BustaPanicAltComedyChicgoCountRockulaMarieColette
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    kassiewriteDaddyRosMarieColette
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    Whether you think you can or you think you can't...you'll probably never get around to it.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    consprcy_carrotAspersioncastunstatusfactorysnickychickSkipperStevensWhitneyWeirdJim_Anchower
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    Apparently, in California, a delicious brownie is called an "edible." just had three of these edibles my cousin left out. I feel dizzy.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    smuttercupLeroysBluesnoeltimesoneWaterBaker
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    phoebelovejoylulusgirl888
  • Jim_Anchower
      Jim Anchower @Jim_Anchower

    So the rebels are taking over in Bolibia. How will that affect the nose candy situation? Got to be good, right?

    • 4
    • FAVS
    smuttercupconsprcy_carrotAgamemNOMNOMlulusgirl888
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    JOHNNYTHEBEAGLElulusgirl888
@Jim_Anchower

@Jim_Anchower

Hola, amigos. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but a lot of crazy shit has been going down.