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When faced with a challenge, save valuable time by giving up immediately. Now you have more time for naps!
It's never too late to lose all hope.
Freedom's just another word for "nobody wants to hang out with you."
I can rotate the Earth with the power of my mind.
You guys think it's easy being a ROCK STAR FROM MARS? The gravity here is heavy! I use cocaine to lighten it.
New Twitter is New Coke, hombres. Some of you are too young to remember New Coke. Let me tell ya, it was not an improvement.
Remember that girl I was hanging out with, had the Adam's Apple, always mixing me tasty fizzy purple margaritas? WHOA. That got weird.
Smoking dope doesn't really make you a better driver, right? Ron says it does, but he's high as hell, so he's biased.
I AM WORTH OVER $100 BILLION DOLLARS ON THE CELLULAR LEVEL!
Thursday is that last couple inches of upper thigh before you brush up against the sexy ladyparts of the weekend.
My buddy said "Pot is crap" so I said "God don't make no junk!" He replied "If God don't make junk, where does junk come from?" Mind. BLOWN.
Got a microwaveable burrito at 7/11, but I had the munchies so bad I ate it on the way home, still frozen. Tasted like a rock salt popsicle.
So many chicks smoke weed nowadays, I'm starting to worry that toking up makes me look like a sissy. Or maybe it's this dildo-shaped bong.
Maybe you're a loser, but at least the whole country isn't chuckling at blurry pics of your package right now.
SHIT! Did any of you guys just see a naked hairy old dude run by with, like, one arm on fire? I'm supposed to be giving him his medicine!
To the unemployed, every Monday is a celebration of your independence. LOLJK! It's just another reminder that the American Dream failed you.
I like to get high and think about stuff. I have some cool thoughts, but I always forget 'em.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't...you'll probably never get around to it.
Apparently, in California, a delicious brownie is called an "edible." just had three of these edibles my cousin left out. I feel dizzy.
So the rebels are taking over in Bolibia. How will that affect the nose candy situation? Got to be good, right?
Hola, amigos. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but a lot of crazy shit has been going down.