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Playing the game but not because I want to.
If the Dollar Store guy dressed as Santa comes near me, I'm punching him in the face.
Smiling so much strangers smile back and try to approach so I throw cats and scream NO NO NOT YOU!! IT'S FOR HIM! so I'm probably still ok.
A vegan man will pretty much happily quiet down about it once you boldly declare "Good, because fuck sharing my meat."
I'm just hoping my coffee kicks in soon from all that turkey I ate yesterday.
Of course I enjoy my commute to and from work
That's the only time I'm alone
I haven't eaten anything but him in a week, so yes please, I would like 18lbs of ribs NOW NOW NOW NOW.
My life is just one long improvisation.
No, thank you. I do not care to explain why I suddenly have to have the prettiest bedroom on the planet. No.
I am man. Hear me apologize.
My neighbors are Russian and not once have they brought me vodka. This is bullshit.
Hey, I just met you and this is crazy. But my cat's already plotting your demise. So call me, maybe.
If I hired a skywriter, I'd say you guys are fucking stupid for starting this tweet format.
You can't say "relationship" without awkwardly stuttering "Ree...ree...relation...ree..." and him laughing at me and ok, fine. I can't.
Sometimes I look at people and think about what I'd say for their eulogy.
No, YOU'RE a secret emo kid. Fuck you.
Try the water, it's delicious.
A lap dance but on his face.
sext: brownbagging it at the bloomies' black friday grindfest
The jealousy in a young heart only grows with time into a storm.
From the 12 winded sky. That photo is 40+. Follow friends of the month @AngelinaC72 @carlyken @heatherjs @Izianikapani @LaniBeno