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I was happy to see a notification on my phone, but unhappy to find it was just a crumb.
The climate must change if it ever expects to grow as a science weather thing.
Please accept my insincerest apologies for the imaginary thing that offended you and no-one else.
I'm trying to be more accepting of crocs but I will judge the fuck out of that 80s perm, Karen.
Every day is international, and local, Wine Day.
So today is National Wine Day.
Not that any of us in this corner of Twitter needs the excuse but, hey.
I don't know who decided it was okay to put bell peppers in everything, but I have had enough. It's NOT okay, and it needs to STOP.
Sometimes I wonder if you've only got a certain number of words and sentences in your head and if you use them all up, you get quiet.
I'm devoting my day to waiting for an important call, knowing there's a 50% chance I will panic and reject the call when my phone rings.
This cashier is done asking about every detail of my day and now she wants to know how all of you are doing.
Interests: writing, politics, literature, religion, PBS, news.
Dislikes: casual sex, internet dating, commitment, marriage.
Loud, obnoxious muscle cars and motorcycles drive past me everyday, and I have yet to swerve to hit one. I think I deserve a treat.
Weird that natural peanut butter is so.........peanuty
If god exists do you honestly think he would make me wear these trousers?
I had a dream a man attacked me, and I stabbed him to death with a fork. It was so disturbing. I fucking HATE silverware.
Love that time Abe Lincoln helped Captain Kirk out of a jamb. Not sure what else he did but that alone puts him on my top 10 emperors list.
I'm parked so far away that if a rusty white van pulled over, I'D promise THEM candy for a ride to my car 😠😭
Twitter, you're so pretty. Almost as pretty as Facebook. Maybe instead of worrying about how you look, you could work on your personality.
I'd rather spend a month naked in an Indian sweat lodge with strangers than go inside that building.
My apologies but it seems my twitter account has dropped some acid and shit to bed or I'm too sober. Either way …
Hump a leg!
From the 12 winded sky. That photo is 40+. Follow friends of the month @jimmy_sharpe @JoParkerBear @RichHarris2 Remembering @OutOfLeftField_
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