Do you think if we refer to "duck lips" as "cock mouth" girls will stop doing it?

Every time my wife is in the shower I run in there naked & throw her soap down...

Darwinism needs to speed up; there are a lot of stupid fuckers running around out there...

Do you think if I pushed my man boobs together & put my cleavage in for my Avi I would get more followers?

My girlfriend is trail rated by jeep; she too will climb up on anything...

Don't get pissed if your tweets get stolen...it's flattering! Unless they get more stars than you, then bury the fuckers...

I like my women the same way as I like my coffee...given to me through the window at Tim Horton's

Do they have tassels for cocks? I could entertain the cat while jerkin' off....

Ke$ha makes me hotttt....like that firey burn when you pee...

Can all you ladies that claim to enjoy sucking dick have an intervention with my wife?

"I don't mind if you blow me again today"...never said post wedding

That crazy space bitch was right; you can drive for HOURS wearing a diaper....

Told my son that the sound thunder makes was santa tearing up his christmas gifts...the dog needed company under the table during storms...

Definite perks to living in a trailer park; my high school diploma means I'm smarter than everybody & I can pick up & go at anytime...

I just wanna thank everyone who stars my tweets...you both know who you are :-)

I remember my first trip to the strip club; I thought it was so noble of her to be putting herself through college...

People who ask for a RT in their tweet...NO! (unless you're hot)

I've seen so many tit pics on twitter I don't even see the tits anymore...I just look at all the shit laying around in the background....

Teenagers think they're so smart & "with it"...spend a day on my TL and your punk asses will be in therapy for years...bitches...

What has more germs, the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese or a Kardashian vag?