I tried to wash away a cockroach down the sink and I could almost hear it say 'bitch please, I survived Hiroshima' as it crawled back out

John Cena imma let you finish but Cardinal Njue is the new face of RAW

Excuse me Bluemoon, your target audience can't afford a telly

Yes we noticed you go to the gym, you can put your new walking style away

#YouknowsheisNairobian when she chucks the club with her shoes in a paperbag

If KBC was an avi it would be 1KB

Julius Yego should get a medal for reaching the finals with youtube as a coach

So tonight the Presidential Debate is going down like Kibaki's pants

#TweetLikeYourMumFollowsYou nothing makes me scream louder than getting that D...in my exam

Well, hello sanctions!

Where can I find steamed youtube? RT @manionfire: MY BUNDLES ARE FINISHED BUT I CAN STILL TWEET AND FACEBOOK PLUS STEAM YOUTUBE #mjanja

Studies show that the day you skip a shower and look like shit you will most definitely meet your ex

So from the TL I can already guess Kethi Kilonzo will be on the cover of Eve Woman etc

'Dude, he just called you brianmbunde', 'OMG! what! here, hold my extra high levels of melanin'

One thing to be thankful for is I didn't wake up with a Ugandan accent

I had a joke about this format but it wasn't funny

You start to believe in humanity again then you hear Sishiki Simu was nominated for an award

You continue ass kissing someone who just unfollowed yo ass #KOTlogic

Not sure if Zack or just lame

Frankly, I would be hardly surprised if I found out Kanye blows himself