At CVS I bought 3 pk of enemas and disposable gloves and the cute cashier says "Have a nice night" and winked.

Wish I could drink on the job. Oh well. I guess just pills then.

I think I may have first met a few of you in rehab. That worked out well. huh?

Tweetin from my Uncle's basement. Is that a subtweet. I just don't get this...subtext...Wow so many cobwebs. Good weed.

Fiddle sticks and flibbertygibbet. F-bombs my Uncle uses.

Just finished un-following all those blue dots with white check marks cuz they work for the CIA, Right?

What the fuck is a subtweet? A Tweet is a Tweet. Subtweets are for Sub-Queefers.

Takes one to know one. I am a sociopath. But I love you.

#Follow Each other #atheists and #agnostics and let's #Follow right back ! New meme- #AtheistSolidarity Please RT!

Steve Job's last words; Oh Wow, Oh Wow. Oh Wow. Maybe he saw G-D or Siri or was just like, really wasted on morphine.

Thank You Twitter for giving me 999 more voices in my head than the 4 I already had. Wicked good. Can't hear myselves think.

I told the shrink about Twitter and what you guys tweet about and he raised an eyebrow, said HMMM and wrote something. Probably good right?

I'm the Herman Caine of Following.

Wife called me a useless piece of shit for not going to the Pat's game with her. Because I have to work all day. Poor thing.

Holy Shit! First time high since on Twitter. Now I fuckin' get this shit. Stoners built the Twitterverse. I Seeee Youuuu... COOKIES!

Watched the Mass with Unc. Chick reading the epistle has a stellar rack. No, PEACE be with YOU! Amen to to the Boobs.

I'm sure there is an Industrial strength Febreze that I can buy. Tomorrow. Wife's been gone 4 days. No time for vacuum extraction. sofa sad

Religion provides great comfort to a world torn apart by religion.Dog chasing his tail.

My day's great. My uncle asked me to adjust his depends as they were riding up his crack. NEW Depends "Thong" for the sexy incontinent!

Ripped one so big it displaced half the bathwater.