When Ryan talks, Biden looks at the camera like he's on The Office. #VPDebate

You have three Grammys. RT @skrillex: Say something funny

you're 37 years old. RT @ryanseacrest: where's everyone going for spring break?

In the next debate, Obama should try Romney's tactic of lying a whole bunch. That seems to be working for him.

I'm almost positive that gluten didn't exist four years ago.

Hard 2 believe ur still a senator after u got caught w/prostitutes wearing diapers. RT @davidvitter: Hard 2 believe 10 yrs passed since 9/11

I hope 'Rise of the Planet of the Apes' ends with all the super smart monkeys teaching Kevin James how to get the girl of his dreams.

How about you give your mom $10K? RT @justinbieber: Help my amazing mom @pattiemallette raise $10K to build a fresh water well in Ethiopia!

 http://nyti.ms/Pyda0b  ! RT @mittromney: Congrats to the Detroit @tigers on making it to the World Series! Part of the heart & soul of Detroit

The fact that the younger bombing suspect followed a Will Ferrell parody account is being vastly underreported.

I made a campaign poster for @mittromney: http://t.co/fgIlUKiM

Paul Ryan looks like he could manage the fuck out of an Applebee's.

You baptize dead Jews. RT @mittromney: Ann & I extend our warmest wishes to the Jewish Community for a happy, peaceful year. L’Shanah Tovah.

Scott's Mom. http://t.co/vNF38Rib

So many idiots are furious to have access to health care right now.

Kind of sad that Mitt Romney didn't even win in Jackson County, Missouri, where he believes the Garden of Eden was located.

Whoever is tickling Biden's feet needs to stop it. #VPDebate

He was a vegan. RT @hardees: Sad to hear the news about @beastieboys Adam Yauch. He had a License to Thrill and Inspire. You'll be missed.

You sure? There's like zero black dudes. RT @kimkardashian: Just realized my sisters and I have never been to Japan or China! We want to go

It's Rick Santorum's choice to terminate his presidential campaign, even this late into its development.