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FYI, the Hoobastank Pandora station plays way too much fucking Incubus
When eating alone, make sure to sit near the trash can like the garbage person you are.
"Calista!! Come help me with my earring!!!"- Harrison Ford, every morning probably
Help! Accidentally just drank a Gatorade 3 before drinking 1 or 2. Please call poison control.
How come nobody told me all of The Smiths songs were about being Friendzoned?!?!?!?!?!?!?
DONT BOTHER ME IM VAPING
My main takeaway from this year's best picture nominees is that the only thing scarier than space is white people.
Day 4: Googled "Lily Tomlin Edith Ann Giant Chair Going Out Of Business". Shot in the dark. No results. Starting to get discouraged.
Just got stressed out at the idea of having to explain to a child how we bought concert tickets before the Internet.
4 ADNAN BLONDES
So, with that new tablet I can design a cake AND listen to "Moves Like Jagger"? Finally, technology catches up to my weekends.
It would be so funny if they just hired Craig Kilborn again
IT'S ADNAN AND EVE NOT ADNAN AND STEVE
Wait... Are The Boys Back In Town because of that Jailbreak?!?!?!?!???
Clean and rad and powerful, writer, comedian
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