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FYI, the Hoobastank Pandora station plays way too much fucking Incubus
"Calista!! Come help me with my earring!!!"- Harrison Ford, every morning probably
When eating alone, make sure to sit near the trash can like the garbage person you are.
Help! Accidentally just drank a Gatorade 3 before drinking 1 or 2. Please call poison control.
How come nobody told me all of The Smiths songs were about being Friendzoned?!?!?!?!?!?!?
DONT BOTHER ME IM VAPING
My main takeaway from this year's best picture nominees is that the only thing scarier than space is white people.
4 ADNAN BLONDES
So, with that new tablet I can design a cake AND listen to "Moves Like Jagger"? Finally, technology catches up to my weekends.
It would be so funny if they just hired Craig Kilborn again
IT'S ADNAN AND EVE NOT ADNAN AND STEVE
Wait... Are The Boys Back In Town because of that Jailbreak?!?!?!?!???
Hey Robert Smith, if boys don't cry than how do you explain what I'm doing right now?
I bet the first guy to eat a coconut totally ate the outside. What a fucking idiot!
Kanye West being mean to Beck over a Beyonce album is like college me being mean to high school me over current me
Clean and rad and powerful, writer, comedian
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